Psychiatrist Tells Us Exactly Why People Cheat, and It's More Than Just Biology
The sad truth is that a lot of married couples suffer from a form of infidelity. But the question still remains, why do people cheat in the first place?
When you ask the question of “Why do people cheat?” you’ll get a lot of mixed answers.
Some might say that it’s just human nature, while others might say that some people are influenced by their parents or the people around them.
However, one psychiatrist believes that science might have the answer to the question of “Why do people cheat?”
Why Do People Cheat? A Psychiatrist Believes Science Has the Answer
Dr. Kenneth Rosenberg, an addiction psychiatrist and author of Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat, shares that science has the answer to the question of why do people cheat.
In his book, he shares, “Our biology plays a big role, [but] we can’t blame it all on biology. You can’t say, ‘Testosterone made me do it,’ but people who have higher testosterone might cheat more, people who are more captured by their dopamine reward system might cheat more.”
“You know why the main reason people cheat? Because they can. Often because it’s an opportunity, often because they think they can get away with it, often because they feel compelled to do it.” He continues, “We like novelty, we like things that are new, that are different.”
On the question of who cheats more, Dr. Rosenberg says, “Women who are more educated are more likely to cheat. And men cheat more than women; 20 percent of married men cheat, 15 percent of married women cheat.”
With regards to the age of people who usually cheat, Dr. Rosenberg, says that men and women aged 40-60 were most likely to cheat, based on his experience.
Lastly, Dr. Rosenberg shared that 90% of people never find out that their spouse is cheating on them. Which is a very scary thought, as the spouse whom you trust completely might turn out to be hiding something from you all this time!
However, Dr. Rosenberg has one great piece of advice when it comes to infidelity. He shares, “You have to be able to forgive and forget.
“Talking about it can really help, understanding where it comes from. We have a romantic belief that the affair partner is going to save us from boredom or feeling unloved, but if you think of it more internally, these are the problems you need to address.
“What is it about me that’s making me discard one person?”
How Can You Cultivate a Thriving Marriage?
Being married isn’t easy. Aside from all of the responsibilities that married couples have to their children and to each other, couples are also responsible for making their marriage thrive.
In order to maintain a healthy and loving marriage, it’s important to know and practise these four important skills!
Following Your Gut
Following your gut means listening to what your body tells you. Sometimes, you might feel certain emotions towards your spouse’s actions, behaviours, or the people that they’re with.
It’s important to not disregard these feelings, as it’s your body’s way of telling you that “hey, something might be wrong.”
Identifying How You Feel
Next, it’s important to know what you’re feeling. Do you feel neglected by your husband whenever he goes out with friends? Do you feel that your wife doesn’t care for you if she forgets what your favourite dish is?
You should identify these feelings and be aware of how they make you feel. It can help make it easier for you to communicate your feelings to your spouse.
Telling Your Spouse How You Feel
Your spouse isn’t a mind reader. And even if you believe that they know your behaviour and habits inside and out, there’s really no way for them to know exactly how you feel or what’s on your mind.
That’s why it’s important for you to be able to vocalise your feelings and share them openly with your spouse. If you have a problem with a certain behaviour he has, then you shouldn’t be afraid to communicate it to him.
If you feel that there’s a barrier holding you back from letting your spouse know your feelings, then you might want to figure out why you feel that way. Maybe your spouse makes you feel uneasy or you don’t trust them enough to share your feelings.
Working on Your Problems
Lastly, be open to working on a solution for your problems. Talking to your spouse openly and figuring out ways to solve your marital problems is a healthy and normal way of dealing with concerns. Don’t try and pick a fight or blame your spouse. Instead, work on things together, and figure out solutions that work for the both of you.
Source: Fox News