Going through a separation? Here are 7 things that will help you cope with it positively

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Going through a separation or divorce is difficult for anyone. Get through this difficult phase of life with the right support.

Divorce is a seven letter word that we all dread. But despite our best efforts, it happens. In fact, divorce rates are growing globally,1 and Singapore is no exception.

According to a 2016 media report, more than 7,000 couples ended their marriages in 2015, an increase of 2.9 percent from the previous year.  The figures for 2016 and 2017 are also in the 7,000 plus range.2

Dealing with Divorce or Separation

Going through a separation or divorce is difficult for anyone. It can cause depression with all the negative emotions involved, and you may find it hard to deal with. This is normal; after all, you are only human.

However, there a few things you can do to get through this difficult phase of life. 

1. Recognise your emotions 

When you are going through a divorce or separation, it’s normal to feel sad, angry, frustrated and confused. This does not mean that you have to live in denial. Accepting the reality and embracing your feelings will set you free emotionally.

2. Give yourself a break 

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Going through something as tough as divorce should not mean that you become harsh to yourself. It’s a good idea to cut yourself some slack. You will be less productive during this time and that’s OK. It takes time for a wound to heal. Give yourself some breathing space.

3. Share your feelings 

Of course, you are entitled to your privacy, but bottling up feelings is not the way. You need to release your emotions. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period.

4. Be emotionally and physically resilient 

You must be feeling weak from inside — your soul trapped in a labyrinth of negative emotions. You want to give up but hey, please don’t. Stand on your feet. Take time out to exercise, eat well and relax.  Be physically and mentally strong and follow your usual routines.

5. Avoid power struggles with your spouse or former spouse 

At this point, it’s meaningless to indulge in any power struggles with your former spouse. What’s done is done. Maintain your calm, and avoid getting into a fight. Walk away or hang up the phone if a situation of conflict arises. Try to talk it out later when the two of you are calmer.

6. Take time to explore your interests 

The best thing you can do at this stage is to reconnect with things you enjoy doing. For example, invest time in your hobbies, volunteer at an institution of your choice, and take time to enjoy life. Seek out and make new friends. It’s not the end! It’s just the beginning of a new phase of life.

7. Engage a good law firm

Besides good friends, what you need during this rough patch is a good law firm like Yeo & Associates LLC by your side. A firm like this, with its strong experience, will fully understand your situation.    

Yeo & Associates is renowned for its expertise in Family Law in Singapore, with a reputation second to none. Its team has in-depth experience and can help you in all aspects of divorce, such as domestic violence, child custody, matrimonial support and more.

From handling the divorce itself to the division of assets after the divorce, the same team will be with you every step of the way. And with such personalised and specialised attention, you can rest in the knowledge that you will get the support you need in these difficult times.

Yeo & Associates’ team of specialist family lawyers will take care of all legal aspects of divorce, providing the expert advice and support you need to reach an agreement with your partner or apply to the courts for a ruling where negotiation and agreement is not possible. And for a simplified and fast method, you can file for divorce online with our convenient tool.  Our team is on hand to help you at any point in the process.

If you are concerned about the costs, there’s no need to worry. You will find that their services are competitively priced. During actual consultation, the lawyer will explain any costs involved in taking your case further and detail how these can be minimised. The firm also offers a reduced fixed fee on divorce to clients in receipt of Social Assistance Schemes.

Tips for Breaking the News to Kids

The hardest part of a divorce can often be telling your children about it. Here are a few tips for you to help break the bad news to your kids:

  • Make sure your kids know that your divorce is not their fault.
  • Try to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible.
  • Make and keep realistic promises.
  • Most importantly, avoid arguing with or talking negatively about the other parent in front of your kids.
  • Don’t use kids as spies or messengers, or make them take sides.

Many say that divorce is fast becoming a part of modern life. But don’t allow it to break you as a person. Call on your inner reserves and march forward in life. Who knows? There might be a greener patch round the corner.

 

References:

1In OECD countries, declining rates of marriage have also been accompanied by increases in rates of divorce. See more here.

2A total of 7,578 marriages ended in a divorce or an annulment in 2017, 0.5 per cent lower than the 7,614 marital dissolutions in the previous year. This was due to the decline in Muslim divorces, which more than offset the slight increase in civil divorces, according to Singstat. Read more about it here.

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