When dads stay at home

When dads stay at home

It used to be that men went out to work while women stayed home to look after the children. But times are now different -- more fathers now remain at home to care for the family. Here are tips for fathers who are in this new role

Stay at home dad

Stay at home dad

In many cases, the switch in breadwinner roles is a matter of choice rather than circumstances. Perhaps the woman feels that she is in the right time and place to focus on her career while the man wants to spend more time with the children. Such couples prefer to delegate parenting duties in this way.

Overcome these top 5 stay-at-home-dad difficulties

1. Isolation

Staying at home with the kids can be hard for a new dad. Especially if he has just left a job and all his friends are busy at work. It is easy for isolation to lead to frustration and depression. The best options are to reach out to other dads in the same situation or rearrange meeting-up times with old friends.

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2. Resentment

It is common to experience the occasional resentment as a couple. The mother who is at work may feel resentful that she is not at home with the children and the father is self-conscious that he is no longer the main breadwinner. Clear communication is the fastest and most direct way to express both of your views. Focus on how the arrangement benefits the whole family.

3. Tactless people

Unfortunately, some people may not be able to accept the notion of a stay-at-home dad. He may encounter some who think he is ‘less of a man’ for staying home to look after the kids. At the other extreme, people may come forward with well-meaning but misguided comments, such as “I wish I had so much time to babysit!” or “Is everyday always your day-off?”. A stay-at-home dad needs to grin and bear it — his family’s approval comes first.

4. Conflicting styles of parenting

Most mums may expect the house to be run like a tight ship whereas dad may take a more laid back attitude with the kids and housework. These differences can cause clashes between partners, especially if the mum is too busy at work. Working out what is expected of both of you normally clears the air. Be ready to compromise a little.

Related: What’s your parenting style? theAsianparent survey

5. Taking each other for granted

It’s easy to become busy and fall into routine but don’t forget that you’re a family. Spend time with each other during weekends, and take the time to appreciate each others’ efforts.

Being a stay-at-home dad requires a lot of decision-making and lifestyle changes. But rest assured that the real reward is seeing your efforts rewarded as you watch your family grow!


Related: How good a father are you?

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Written by

Felicia Chin

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