The little things
- Say ‘good morning’ with a smile on your face and warmth in your voice.
- Spend a few minutes together-even if it’s over a cup of coffee or brushing your teeth. It connects you.
- Call your spouse once in the middle of the day to tell them you love them and if necessary, to remind him/her to pick up the kids, a gallon of milk or whatever.
- Stick little notes in each other’s brief cases, make-up drawer, under wear or somewhere else they are sure to see it.
- Decide right here right now to say and do at least one nice thing each day specifically for your spouse. It might be as simple as telling them they look nice and giving the baby his/her bath, but it needs to be something to make them smile.
Make the time
- Hire a sitter or trade child care services with friends and go out on a date with your spouse at least every other week.
- Spend at least 20-30 minutes EVERY DAY of uninterrupted time with your spouse talking about whatever you need to talk about but work.
- Okay, so we know we’re too tired and not in the mood for sex every night, but you need to take a few minutes each night when you get into bed to cuddle and just be close.
- Speaking of bed…go to bed together. One of the biggest marriage killers is to go to bed at different times. This may not always be possible depending upon work schedules or sick kids, but whenever it is…do it. NOTE: ‘work schedule’ doesn’t include you staying up late to catch up at home.
- Make sure you ask your spouse about their day and then really listen when they answer.
Be loveable
- You don’t have to put on your ‘glam face’ every day, but make an effort to look nice for yourself and your man. You’ll feel better about yourself and that will transfer in feeling better about the two of you.
- Touch your spouse. Hugs and kisses, a pat on the back…
- Don’t nag-if something needs to be done, ask.
- Don’t talk to your spouse as if you are speaking to your children.
- Smile. Let your love show in your facial expressions.
- Initiate sex.
What your husband needs from you
- To feel respected–a man equates love with respect.
- To understand that his providing for you and your family is a love language–the one he is most fluent in.
- To know your words can cut like a knife–so use them carefully.
- To know he wants you to care about your appearance.
- To believe in him.
- To not correct his parenting–especially in front of the children.
It’s all too common to put your marriage on the backburner during the hectic years of raising your family. But by doing so, you rob your children of growing up knowing what a healthy marriage is-one they can learn from and take into their future. You also run the risk of not knowing how to be married when the day comes that it is just the two of your once more.
Darla Noble has been married to her childhood sweetheart, John, for 32 years. They are the parents of 4 beautiful children, an equally beautiful daughter-in-law, three son in-laws, 2 perfect granddaughters and are anxiously awaiting the arrival of 2 more grandchildren in the next few months. Darla, who has 25 years of experience, is passionate about her writing; mainly focusing on parenting/family issues, women’s interest, inspirational storytelling and writing to, for and about teenagers. Darla has also spent 20 years speaking to women and teens-inspiring them to live a life of love, faith, passion, wit and wisdom.
Other articles on marriage that may interest you:
10 ways to have a happy marriage
Making marriage work for working couples