Making a marriage work for working couples

The structure of the family has changed over the decades. Nowadays, it is common to see two working parents instead of the traditional working husband and housewife. This is common, especially in Singapore, where the lack of minimum wage coupled with a high standard of living makes it extremely difficult for a household to function with a single breadwinner. For couples, parents and newlyweds who have to go to work alongside their spouses each morning, here are some key tips to make the marriage work, despite heavy work commitments.

1. Use the weekends well

Workaholics out there live for the weekends. It’s when one can have two straight days of uninterrupted recovery from a week of good hard work. The weekdays are stressful times and many often work late into the nights to finish their work for the next day. The weekends, thus, become the only time that a couple can truly spend time together with one another. Go for a walk on the beach, head out for a nice Saturday brunch or simply laze in bed the whole afternoon watching television. The idea is to focus your attention on your partner to compensate the previous five days of work distraction. Plus, you manage to slot in some good relaxation hours.

2. Don't bring your work home

Unless you cannot avoid it, do not bring your office back to your home. The home is a sanctuary of sorts. A place where couples can find rest and respite from the harsh work day. By spending late nights on the computer, reading emails from your boss or calculating expenses, you turn your bedroom into an office. Not only will this upset your partner but it may also encourage him or her to bring their work home. Ultimately, you end up working the whole night when you could have been talking about your day with the person you love and getting some much needed rest.

3. Share the knowledge link

There are some ways that you can safely bring your work home, in a sense. Being working adults, knowledgeable about your respective fields - whenever your partner is making an important business decision or is troubled by a dilemma at work, make it a point to advise based on what you know. A lawyer can help a businessman with legal issues, a banker could help a publisher solve financial issue, a nurse could help a journalist find a human perspective. The added bonus is that since the person you are advising or taken advice from is your spouse, you can rest assured knowing that the advice is coming from a reliable source.

4. Share the housework

A simple concept, yet one that carries much weight. When two people are living together and are both working the whole day, who does the housework? Avoid potential fights and quarrels by dividing chores fairly and evenly between the two of you. Do not nitpick over who should do more housework because one job sounds easier than the other. Instead take some time to list the chores that have to be done over the course of the week and discuss how to fairly split the tasks. And if you are unable to do specific task due to work commitments, you can ask your partner for help. Remember to ask nicely!

5. Set aside time for one another

We know that the weekdays can be extremely busy and taxing on you, both mentally and physically. Try though, to find a day at least once a week, to do something together with your spouse. Rent a movie or order dinner in - spend this night curled up on the couch with one another. You will find that unwinding together will help your relationship grow stronger. Also, it's nice to put your worries aside and enjoy some quality time with the person you love.

Written by

Felicia Chin

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