10 mistakes to avoid in a marriage

Everyone makes mistakes in their marriage. The big question is, do you fix it or do you walk away?

Check out our 10 tips on how to avoid marriage mistakes. Remember not to repeat these marriage mistakes and you'll be on your way to a healthier, happier relationship.

1. Never try to change your spouse’s behaviour

The problem with many marriages is that, husbands never change, although their wives want them to. Similarly, wives always change, although their husbands never want them to.

Love your partner for who they are. Don't assume you can change anything about them or that everything will stay the same. Marriage is about growing with each other and accepting the person you are with and loving them just the way they are.

2. Don't change yourself for anybody

Be true to yourself. Your spouse should not have unrealistic expectations of you. It’s unnecessary pressure and stress trying to live up to your partner’s unrealistic expectations. They should love you for who you are, not what they want you to be. Remember this when you have unattainable expectations of your partner, too.

3. Never mention divorce during an argument

It’s completely normal for couples to argue every now and then. It’s also common for them to yell the danger word – ‘divorce’ – when a situation gets too heated. It’s a very bad idea and doesn't help anyone or anything. Unless you're really ready to call in the lawyers, avoid mentioning divorce and work through the problem at hand.

4. Talk to one another

Communication is very important in a marriage. Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and arguments. Try instead, to see the situation from each other's perspective. The goal is not to "win" but to come to an agreement and compromise that works best for both of you.

5. Try to remain calm

Never get too carried away when you are fired up in an argument with your spouse. You won’t be able to take back harsh words said and that could bruise, or even destroy your relationship. Take a deep breath. Calm down and talk to each other in a civilized manner. You are both, after all, adults.

6. Say you’re sorry

If you know you’re wrong in a fight with your spouse, put your ego aside and apologise. This will help strengthen your marriage and deepen your mutual respect. Make up, put the past behind you and move on.

7. Give each other space

Everyone needs space, even married couples. We need time to relax or concentrate on our work or spend time with our friends outside of the marriage. Respect one another’s need for space. It’s not rejection if your partner wants to have lunch with her girlfriends or watch a game with his buddies. It is just down time and we all need it sometimes.

8. Trust your partner

Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. Don't strain your relationship by constantly asking your partner if they find others attractive or comment on time they spend with a co-worker. If you are in a loving relationship you need to trust each other. If you don’t or find it difficult, this is something you both need to work on, perhaps with the help of a counselor.

9. Don’t nag

Sometimes our worry and concern for our spouse can come off wrong especially when repeated constantly. Our partners may feel as if we are nagging them and holding back on the encouragement they need from us more than anyone else.

10. Don’t forget about sex

Once the first few years of your marriage have gone by, kids come along and you find yourselves burdened by everyday responsibilities, you realise there isn’t much time for sex and your partner. Don’t let this happen, when you make love you rekindle the flame that you share with your spouse!

Written by

Sonia Pasupathy

Marriagerelationship mistakeshealthy relationshipmaking marriage work