10 secrets to a happy marriage

1) Maintain a good work-life balance

Don’t form an addiction to work and risk losing what is precious to you — your family. If you don’t maintain a work-life balance, you risk missing out on quality time, bonding and precious moments with your loved ones.

We're not suggesting that you swing to the other extreme by slacking off at work and spending every waking moment with your family, but you do need to find a balance between the two.

If you don’t see your kids because they are asleep by the time you come home every night and because you leave for work before they wake up, you need to reassess your priorities.

2) For better or worse

It’s all too easy to forget about what brought the both of you together, especially when the kids take up so much time and priority.

However, maintaining a close and intimate relationship with your spouse is key to raising happy, secure kids, as they notice the bond and happiness between their parents.

Children will also learn virtues like patience, kindness, love, and forgiveness through observing the way their parents treat each other.

The danger of placing your child first at all times while neglecting to strengthen and safeguard your marriage, is that your child may grow up believing that his needs are more important than anyone else’s, thus encouraging a self-centred attitude.>

3) Agree on core parenting principles

Most parenting disagreements are about raising children.

For example, a common disagreement is the topic of discipline methods.

Always make it a point to have heartfelt discussions with your spouse regarding your parenting principles and values, so that both of you are consistent when it comes to applying them.

4) Always 'kiss and make up' after a fight

It’s perfectly normal to be mad with your spouse after a heated argument — the residual feelings may take a while to go away as you simmer down.

However, it’s not healthy to bear grudges or leave arguments unresolved, as they will eat into you and affect your relationship with your spouse.

Always aim to make up after an argument — if possible, before the day ends and both of you go to bed.

Calm down by taking a bit of time to remember why you love your spouse, and to count the little things about him or her that you love.

5) Have sex!

A sexless marriage may not necessarily end up in divorce, but a lack of sexual intimacy certainly does not add value to the relationship.

There could be many reasons for this: physical exhaustion, stress, and an array of emotional and physical conditions.

But all is not lost; it’s time to get your sexy back!

Whether it involves lacy lingerie, a special dinner, or a naughty one night escapade in a hotel, let your imagination run wild.

Sounds like too much effort? Start by doing nice things for each other

. Give your hubby a massage to soothe him into seduction after a hard day at work. Husbands, trust us when we say that a little effort put into doing the laundry and housework will go a long way in giving your wife that extra bit of energy she needs for lovemaking.

6) Talk for 10 minutes everyd ay

7) Align your financial goals and spending habits

8) You don't need to be right all the time!

It’s not always about winning an argument and proving your spouse wrong. Such behaviour will only ruin your chances of learning to understand each other better. Ask yourself what is more important: proving you are right, or creating an environment where the opinions and beliefs of both spouses are of value?

9) Create the right environment

Set the environment for conducive, loving discussions when facing conflicts. Talking respectfully to each other and looking for creative solutions to the problems you face together will go a long way in creating a strong and enduring marriage. Always aim to resolve a disagreement with mutual respect and love.

10) Accept and embrace each other

p>Perhaps the most important secret to a great marriage is accepting for your partner for who he/she is. Nobody’s perfect, including you. Your spouse is the best person you’ll have to perfect your flaws together with, as both of you embark on life’s journey together. Remember that there is no problem too big or impossible for both of you to overcome – together!

Written by

Roshni Mahtani

Marriage