Tips on getting your 'love game' (back) on!
It's never been easy handling a household of chores with kids while still trying to have an intimate relationship with your spouse. Find out how to rekindle the passion and get your 'love game' back on!
You wake up early, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the kids, run household errands, and possibly even work from 9-5. It’s no wonder you don’t have time to think about anything else when you hit the sheets every night. But, you’re probably always thinking about ways to bring your ‘love life’ back to order and make it into a priority in your life again.
Marriage post kids
It’s true your love life is going to be different post-kids. But different isn’t always bad. In fact, the act of making a baby together and bringing that baby into the world is the most solidifying act of love there is. Even though things are going to be different, you can make different great for your love life! Here’s how:
Life is busy. Plan time together as a couple. Yes, it’s going to take more planning than before. But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to be worth it. Try these tricks:
- Set aside 20 minutes during the day to talk without being interrupted.
- Set aside one evening every other week to go out on a date.
- Go out together once a month with friends. If your kids are older, you can host monthly potlucks or get-togethers at your house.
- Give yourself a few hours a week of ‘me’ time. Having ‘me’ time makes you better at having a love life.
- Two or three times a year, you and your spouse need to get away for the weekend together. Do what makes the two of you happy and improves your love life.
Don’t live in the past
If your pre-baby lifestyle was one of clubbing and partying all night, you will quickly discover that this really isn’t an appropriate lifestyle anymore, especially for parenting. You need to be responsible enough to be able to get up and be mum and dad the next morning.
Don’t forget the little extras
Call each other once or twice during the day just to say ‘I love you.’ Commit to doing something nice for each other every day. Flirt with your spouse, because you’ll be less likely to be too tired for sex if you’ve been leading up to it all day.
Now, speaking of sex
Splurge on a couple of sets of sexy lingerie. Use candles to set the mood, because there’s nothing as romantic as candlelight. Put on soft and slow music. Expect things to feel differently, but be confident and don’t worry about your post-baby body. You may need to try different positions and/or lubricate yourself in the early days of post-baby sex.
Still need help?
Are you still at a loss for ideas? The following should help get you started:
- Go to a concert or theatrical production
- Go to local fairs or festivals and enjoy the flavours, sights and sounds of the country
- Rent a cheap (but clean) hotel for the night and have ‘hotel sex’
- Do something fun like roller skating, miniature golfing, bowling, or rock wall climbing
- Do something romantic like take a carriage ride, have dinner on a cruise or chartered sailboat excursion.
Different is good
The key to taking back your love life in a marriage is to remember that the love, which created the child you are so busy with, should not be neglected for the sake of a busy lifestyle.
Share your thoughts on these tips, and tell us if any of these ideas for having a better love life worked for you!
Here’s a video that has more tips on improving your love life after marriage: