Wong Li Lin's keeping her divorce reasons a secret - 7 reasons why marriages fail
Singapore celeb Wong Li Lin is going through the final stages of her divorce from Allan Wu. But she refuses to tell the public why they are splitting. What makes seemingly strong marriages fall apart? We bring you 7 reasons that may cause a marriage to fail. Keep reading
Beloved Singapore actress and fitness personality Wong Li-Lin – fondly known to us as Lilin – moved back to Singapore from Shanghai last month.
The Singaporean actress best known for her role in 90s crime television series Triple Nine, left for Shanghai with her Chinese-American actor-host husband Allan Wu and their two children in August 2011.
But she returned to Singapore as a single mum to her now 8-year-old daughter Sage and 7-year-old son Jonas, having split from Wu in June and ending their 9 year long marriage.
Her divorce will soon be finalised, but 41 year old Liliin appears to have come to terms with it.
In a recent interview with Life! she said about her broken relationship: “It has to heal. It’s like having a cut that’s probably a bit raw in various ways and it has to heal and that can only take time. But overall, it’s pretty okay.”
Lilin shows no sign of bitterness towards Wu and praises him for being a “very loving dad” and a “big teacher” in her life.
But she insists on keeping the reasons for her divorce a secret. She said: “I don’t need to address it with anybody. This is between Allan and me…in any relationship, people want things to work. He and I certainly did, but certain things didn’t work out so we just have to be mature about it. We both have our rights and wrongs and we both tried.”
Lilin and Allan Wu seemed to be a couple that had it all – celebrity status, a seemingly loving relationship, beautiful kids…so what went wrong? Why do certain marriages that seem strong, fail?
7 reasons why marriages fail – find out the next page.
We all know couples like Lilin and Allan Wu who seem to have it all, but then one day you hear they are no longer together. And you start wondering, what happened? Why did their marriage fail when it seemed so strong?
The truth is that all marriages will go through rocky and smooth periods. Over time, careers, children, hobbies and other things may get in the way of a loving married relationship. And if couples don’t acknowledge and address warning signs, this could signal a marriage’s downhill path.
Dawn Michael, a Los Angeles-based marriage & sex counselor, addresses some of the most common reasons behind why some marriages fail. Once a couple understand why their relationship is not working, they can then decide if they want to fix the problems or walk away from each other.
1. Lack of communication: Men and women communicate differently. Not understanding each other’s communication styles, or not being willing to try and listen to what the other person has to say can be a big problem in many marriages. A marriage without open, two-way communication won’t probably last for long.
2. Financial problems: Not making financial decisions together, or one person over-spending can lead to unhappiness and finger-pointing, and the eventual breakup of a marriage. Also, the lack of open communication about money problems can disrupt a marriage more than the actual financial problem.
3. The couple shouldn’t have been married in the first place: Sometimes couples can iron out their incompatibilities. But if they are not compatible on too many levels and don’t work towards resolving these issues, a marriage can fail. Negative personality traits in one person that are not compatible with the other person’s personality can make a long-term relationship unbearable and divorce a real possibility.
4. Sex-less marriage: The lack of sex or sexual fulfillment is an all too common problem that if not addressed can lead to marriage break-up.
5. Abuse: physical and verbal abuse are all too often the causes of a marital break-down. Sexual and emotional abuse also fall into this category. If one partner is constantly degrading their partner – physically, verbally, mentally or emotionally – this is highly likely to be a cause why marriages fail in time.
6. Expectation problems: Couples head into marriage with certain expectations of each other. Sometimes if romantic or other expectations are not met, disillusionment can set in. And over time, unmet expectations can cause enough unhappiness to cause a married couple to drift apart and break up.
7. Cheating: Infidelity can signal the end of many marriages. Of course, there are many reasons why a spouse may cheat in the first place and often, it is due a combination some or all of the reasons listed above.
Here in Singapore, there is readily available help for couples who feel their marriage is just not working and would like to try and find a way to save their relationship.
The Ministry of Social and Family Development’s website offers valuable information and resources.
For a list of a list of marriage counselling services in Singapore, click here.
Do leave a comment and let us know if you know of any other reasons why marriages fail. Your views and opinions are valuable!