10 ways you're subtly destroying your marriage

11 ways you're subtly destroying your marriage

Have you ever felt like your marriage might be falling apart but have no idea what went wrong? Maybe it's time you do a bit of reflection! Here are ways you might be unknowingly destroying your marriage.

#1 Living beyond your means

Spending way more than what your husband earns on an average might be the reason why he is always feeling pressured to be the "successful man" you've always wanted.

Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.

Constantly complaining about not having enough to buy you your Prada bag is a poor way of saying "thank you" to a loyal spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.

#2 Making him the last priority

Putting your children, work and colleagues first will leave your husband feeling severely unwanted and unappreciated.

Put your husband first. Although it may seem counter-productive, it's often the key to having a really happy marriage.

#3 Incessant negativity

Negativity is draining. A good man loves it when his wife is happy because of his efforts to make a relationship work.

But if you're always unhappy and complaining about minor issues that cannot be helped (most of the time), it'll only make him feel like a failure.

It's okay to have a bad day once in a while, that's totally understandable, but don't make it a way of life.

#4 Never trying to speak his language

It's no secret men and women communicate their thoughts in drastically different ways. Women give hints. Men "ignores" them.

Don't waste your time giving subtle hints that he won't understand: Be direct. Be honest about your feelings, and don't bottle things up until you everything comes snowballing down on your marriage.

If he asks you what's wrong, don't respond with "nothing" or "I'm fine" and then expect him to read your mind and emotions. Be open about how you really feel.

#5 Avoiding physical affection

Men need physical affection from their wives. It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you.

Even though you might not always be in the mood, it's worth it to give in (when you can) and spend that time bonding and reconnecting. Marriage isn't all about boring talk. Rekindle that flame.

#6 Never asking about his day

A lot of wives take for granted their husband's welfare by assuming that he had an okay day at work. He might be hiding his problems at work from you, afraid that if he voices it out it escalates to an argument.

Or it could be because we weren't asking about his day at all. Your husband does NEED to vent and you need to be the one who comforts him. By being the person he turns to, you are going through thick and thin with him - which is what a marriage is all about.

#7 Assuming that he doesn't help much around the house

I am pretty sure most of the time, he does help -- just in different ways. Like unclogging the toilet, or fixing the broken sink.

Be patient. Even if he doesn't help around much, never imply or assume that the doesn't help at all.

#8 Expecting too much

Piling up expectations for your husband to meet is pressurizing and it doesn't help if he has problems at work too. Sometimes all you need to do is be his listening ear and communicate respectfully.

Trust me, your relationship will definitely improve heaps by communicating properly rather than expect something from him that he may not be able to meet.

#9 Limiting his time with friends

Sometimes, your husband needs a little therapy out with friends or even to just catch up with them after months of not getting to see them. It is alright to let him mingle every once in a while.

Being too overprotective drives him further away and can even make him feel like he needs to "obey you" all the time. Have faith, not all men are cheats and liars.

#10 Never saying "I love you"

This may be one thing many busy wives fail to do. Professing your love every now and then - especially in a long term marriage - might help boost his confidence in your relationship.

We know that arguing is perfectly normal in a marriage, but we should remember to compensate that by finding ways to make up. Make professing your love for each other a much more common occurrence as compared to having the "occasional quarrel".

Written by

Mizah Salik

destroying your marriage