Top 10 ways to keep your marriage alive

Whether you have been married for six months or 60 years -- you can always learn ways to become a better husband or wife. In fact, the nauseatingly happy couples that we know are the ones who make a deliberate effort to learn how to make their marriage better. With these 10 tips, you and your husband can become one of those nauseatingly happy couples with whom we all secretly envy but desire to become.

Facebook Fan YingYing Luo shares that acceptance is the most important value in a marriage

1. Mutual respect

As unromantic as it sounds, having mutual respect for each other will be a huge benefit to your relationship. This means never taking each other for granted or simply expecting certain things of each other without asking or having a discussion around roles.

A good relationship relies on teamwork and sharing responsibilities equally. Respect your partner and share the workload of your family, relationship and everything else in between. Also, always show appreciation for whenever your partner does anything super nice for you.

2. Go on dates!

In the wise words of one of our Facebook fans, Pearly Kara a good marriage is made up of “commitment, effort & willingness to maintain or improve together. It’s a lot of hard work.”

Do the activities you did that made you fall in love in the first place. You might have met in wall climbing class, but now with the kids around it is getting a tad hard to do them wall climbing so why not subtitute that with just going out for a cup of coffee, instead? Enjoy each other as couple more often and you’ll like being mum and dad even more. This will also help keep the love in marriage alive.

3. Acceptance

To Facebook fan, Yingying Luo, “accepting ur spouse for who he/she is and not expecting him/her to change,” is the most important thing. If you married him, you need to love him for who he is now – not who you hope he will become. So accept him for who he is instead of resenting him or trying to make him to a version that you think is “better.” He is already perfect the way he is — that’s why you married him.

4. Share your day

To Facebook fan, Chaotic Kittie, “communication between spouse is very impt”. Do share your day with your partner no matter how trivial it might seem to you. Sharing is caring and also another form of communication and communications keep a relationship alive.

5. Appreciation

If he does a nice thing for you, acknowledge it and thank him for it. Small things like this go a long way. Everyone likes to be appreciated and so do you. Resentment often starts when one person feels that they are underappreciated by the other and the last thing you want is resentment in the relationship. Be nicer and appreciative towards each other and you will never have to deal with resentment again.

6. Make him your priority

If you’re tempted to postpone a date with your husband because you feel guilty for not spending enough time with the kids — go on the date anyway; because your marriage is a priority.There’s nothing better you can do for your kids than have a loving relationship with their dad! Don’t focus so hard on being a great mum that you forget to be a great spouse.

7. Compromise

You are not always right. He is not always wrong. There is a middle way for everything. Find it. Your marriage would be better off once your do find that middle way.

8. Resolve fights

Do not be hesitant to say “sorry” if it is your mistake. Do not bring up old issues, as this will create (again) resentment in the relationship. Forgive, forget and love the kids more.

9. Special days

Remember birthdays and anniversaries. They are special days and every year they add another milestone to your relationship, reminding you that there are many more happy days to come – if you play your cards right and keep resentment of the table.

10. Remember that you were lovers first, before you were parents

It is important that you keep the desire for each other alive for all well…you entire marriage. Let him know that he is always (sexually) desired. Send him dirty, kinky text message letting him know what you want to do with and/or to him later. Always endeavour to keep the fire alive and the love in marriage present.

QUESTION: How do you and your husband keep the fire burning?

For related articles on your marriage and other tips, see:

Simple secrets to keep your marriage fresh

Making a marriage work for working couples

How to avoid these 8 marriage mistakes

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Written by

Miss Vanda

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