7 Things Successful Couples Do Differently When Arguing
All couples argue, but it's the way they do it that determines if their relationship will go the distance
Do not let arguments be the downfall of your relationship. Here are some steps you can take to ensure you and your partner’s feelings do not sour over a quarrel.
#1 They ditch the silent treatment
Successful couples don’t just walk away in the middle of an argument out of sheer exasperation. They talk it out and try to resolve it immediately like the adults that they are. Those who resort to the ‘silent treatment’ are not doing anything to help ease the situation. Healthy couples talk it out and come to a resolution in a really mature manner.
#2 They are sensible people
A healthy couple argues sensibly. They touch on issues that truly matter to the both of them. They don’t fight over silly things like the man not putting the toilet seat down every time he visits the washroom (well maybe occasionally) but not to the extreme end of actually fully losing it over a toilet seat.
#3 They would never resort to verbal abuse
Calling names and hurling vulgarities at each other during an intense argument is not a healthy way to reach resolution. EVER. Happy couples in long-term relationships rarely get into knock-down, drag-out fights because they don’t lower themselves to bullying tactics: no matter how heated things get, there’s no biting sarcasm, vicious glaring or excessive eye rolling.
#4 They set ground rules
They’re no such thing as cutting the other off while he’s explaining his point in an argument.
It’s not that long-time couples have never resorted to low blows or have said something regrettable during an argument. They have in the past — and then they learn from their mistake. Once the emotionally-charged fight ends, smart couples lay down ground rules for arguing so it never gets out of hand again.
It’s not about being right and winning an argument all the time, it’s about finding common ground.
#5 They acknowledge each other’s feelings
They may be at each other’s throats most of the time but couples in happy, long-time relationships try their best to see the other side of the argument and keep an open mind. They take perspectives seriously.
#6 They are extremely direct with each other
Couples in it for the long-haul rarely shy away from important topics that need to be discussed ASAP. If she feels her man is spending too much on pointless gadgets — she expresses her concern like a normal human being.
If he feels his wife is disregarding his feelings by bringing her entire squad to a supposedly private family gathering — he addresses it. Everything is transparent with these two. And that’s how all relationships should be.
#7 They never forget that they’re a team
Even during intense squabbles, healthy couples never forget that they’re a team: for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health… and until the argument exhausts them to a timeout!
Couples in a stable relationship tend to remember that no matter how angry they may be at each other, life still goes on; they’re still going to be stuck together as a team.
Even in an emotional state, they are able to hang on to the long-term value being a couple. Because of that mindset, they would never want to do any lasting damage.
Do you have more to share? Let us know in the comments box below!