Keeping up with the trend
From helicopter parenting, bullet train parenting, no-more spanking parenting, yes-you-should-spank parenting, child-led parenting, parent-led-child parenting, tiger mama parenting, lioness and her cubs parenting, and oh the list of parenting trends are simply making everyone dizzy.
Parenting magazines report on an array of techniques, so parents can follow the “right” track in the hopes of raising a prodigy or an Olympian, a Science genius who could cure cancer or perhaps even the next president of Singapore.
Some experts advise one way and other experts advise you the other. Of the thousand and one parenting trends and techniques to pick from, which way is best for your child?
How are parents supposed to choose the “right” one?
Calm The F*** Down already!
For those of you who are still shopping around for a parenting method that works. Here’s something to consider. Perhaps its a little on the liberal side, but it has the benefit of not requiring a lot of time or effort.
Well, some effort if you’re an alpha parent. Given recent reports about parents taking PSLE leave to give their kids an extra edge, perhaps its a good idea for highly strung Singapore parents.
The Huffington Post is the source of this new idea. They recently introduced the CTFD method for overly anxious parents. And what does it stand for you might ask?
The CTFD method is short for Calm The F*** Down, and no it isn’t a message for your kids. It is a message for parents.
Read on for more about the CT*D method.
The CTFD Method
Of all the parenting methods out there, this is probably the easiest one yet. Its probably one of the most sensible too. It just requires parents to relax, take a deep breath, lower their sky-high expectations by a notch and simply, Calm The F*** Down.
Here are some scenarios where parents could employ the CTFD method:
- Upset that your child scored one point lower than his classmate in the CA1 math paper, Calm The F*** Down.
- Frustrated that your child is not studying 8 hours a day, Calm The F*** Down.
- Worried that your child is taking longer to learn the alphabet than his cousins, Calm The F*** Down.
- Anxious that your child is not going to get into the top primary school, Calm The F*** Down.
- Bothered that your child is using his extra time to play computer games instead of practicing his violin, Calm The F*** Down.
The CTFD Method is easy and all you have to do is:
- Calm The F*** Down
- There is no second step
Why the CTFD method works
When you remember to Calm The F*** Down, you’ll be surprised how much weight is lifted off your shoulders.
You can build a tender loving rapport with your child, now that you’re not nagging on about grades, studies and extra curricular activities. Talk to your child about his favorite games and friends instead.
The more stressed you are about his performance in school, the more tension you build between the both of you. Slowly but surely, your child will become more distant, and discouraged.
Your child may even believe that he or she is never going to meet your expectations. And since that’s the last thing you want for your child, perhaps you should start to Calm The F*** Down.
Parenting is not meant to be hard all the time. It demands patience, time and most of all love. Our choices do affect our children. But not all the time.
Not every decision is life-changing. Our children will not become delinquent if we chill a little. It might even benefit our relationship. We can talk to them about what they enjoy rather than focusing on school and official activities.
If its never occurred to you to discuss the F1 race during PSLE season with your car mad child, then you need to seriously think about CT*D. A 10-minute discussion about the merits of the Ferrari team or even an afternoon trip out to the track, will not derail you child’s entire future and might do wonders for your relationship.
CT*D as a method might need some polish but its message is a good one. Relax. Chill. Calm. All good things for parents and their children.
Watch this video about motherhood stress for a good laugh