A study on the sleeping habits of couples back in 2015 found that 25% of couples sleep on separate beds, 10% said that they sleep in separate rooms. However, it doesn’t mean that they have marital problems.
“It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other”
Most couples might think that sleeping on separate beds means there might be a marital problem, but for a lot of the couples who sleep on separate beds, it has more to do with comfort rather than closeness.
Here are just a few reasons that couples have when asked why they sleep in separate beds:
“We have different sleep/wake schedules ― I go to bed early and wake up late, he stays up late and gets up early”
Image source: iStock
Erin Lidia shares, “We’ve slept in separate rooms from the start. I have insomnia and I’m an extremely sensitive sleeper, everything wakes me up … We have different sleep/wake schedules ― I go to bed early and wake up late, he stays up late and gets up early. Things are much more peaceful having our own beds. We get much better rest and we still cuddle a ton and are very affectionate when we’re awake. We’re also both introverts so it’s nice to have our own space sometimes. We wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Makes a lot of sense, some people are much more comfortable sleeping alone in their bed rather than sharing it with someone else.
“We have twin boys and started sleeping separately when they were born two years ago”
Brittany Hamrick Mazur shares why she and her husband sleep on separate beds: “My husband and I sleep in separate rooms. We have twin boys and started sleeping separately when they were born two years ago. Then every minute of sleep was precious and necessary. We still do because we sleep better ― and he snores like a freight train.”
Very practical; it’s easier to get to sleep if you’re sleeping alone in your room when it’s your spouse’s turn to sleep with the kids. Though, snoring “like a freight train” sounds a bit of an exaggeration.
“This is what works for us. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other and aren’t intimate”
Image source: iStock
“My husband and I have slept in separate beds nearly our entire 15-year marriage. He snores, so I don’t sleep. I move around a lot and we have a firm mattress, so he doesn’t sleep. This is what works for us. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other and aren’t intimate. We have two daughters and he still gives me butterflies,” shares Katie VanVleet.
We’re starting to see a pattern of snoring here, but if it works for them, then it works!
“Though we adore each other, we really appreciate having our own space”
“My husband and I have slept in separate bedrooms for the last five years,” says Diane Dunnington Hill. “We both sleep better! We have different waking cycles and temperature fluctuations. And though we adore each other, we really appreciate having our own space.”
Just because you’re married doesn’t always mean that you have to spend every waking (or in this case sleeping) moment with each other. Some people, especially introverts, need some “me” time every so often. For this couple, sleeping in separate bedrooms just makes their marriage work better.
“Separate beds might be the key to a long and successful marriage”
“We have been married for 35 years ― we have been sleeping in separate beds in the same room for the last 10 years or so. We are both up and down all night long at different times ― using the bathroom, dealing with some pain or another ― and this way we don’t wake the other one up every time since we sleep so little anyway.
“It doesn’t reflect how we feel for each other ― actually this is really considerate of the other person. We sleep when we can and we both completely understand that. Being together is all that matters. Separate beds might be the key to a long and successful marriage,” shares Robin Thomas.
That’s an interesting take on it. Giving each other space really does matter in a relationship. It’s not always about being together, sometimes spending some time apart really strengthens the marriage since it lets each partner be their own person.
It’s all about what you and your spouse are comfortable with
Image source: iStock
We guess it all boils down to a matter of preference. Some couples like waking up beside their spouse, while others prefer sleeping in a separate bed, or even in a separate room (especially if their partner snores loudly).
There really isn’t a specific formula when it comes to making a marriage work. It takes love, cooperation, understanding, respect and knowing where you and your partner’s comfort zone lies.
At the end of the day, it’s all about what you and your spouse are comfortable with. So don’t worry if you feel that you’re more comfortable sleeping alone in bed. If you think that sleeping on separate beds might be what you need, then try talking to your spouse about it. Who knows, they might also share the same sentiment!
Sources: huffingtonpost.com, dailymail.co.uk
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