Singaporean businessman on trial for killing wife’s ex-lover

They were colleagues at a packaging company and bonded over using the same company transport. He was younger to her but that didn’t stop 37-year-old Dexmon Chua Yizhi from falling for the much married, Madam Serene Goh Yen Hoon.

Their bond strengthened when he started dropping her back home in his car. In August 2011, the relationship further progressed to physical intimacy. Much as she felt guilty about cheating on her husband, Ms. Goh found comfort in pouring out her marital problems to Mr. Chua, who was married to a Thai woman.

In June 2012, Mr. Chua also filmed a sex video of theirs for "emotional reasons". According to Ms. Goh, they stopped getting physically intimate after that, but kept in touch over the phone.

The big reveal happened in November 2012, when businessman Chia Kee Chen, husband of Ms. Goh, discovered text messages on her phone from one “Dexmon".

Ms. Goh was forced to come clean, even revealing about the video, to a furious Mr. Chia.

Mr. Chia warned Mr. Chua against meeting his wife anymore. The last straw was when he chanced upon a video greeting on WhatsApp, that Mr. Chua had sent Ms. Goh, on the eve of Chinese New Year. They never spoke about Mr. Chua after that though.

Things got really murky between the night of Dec 28 and the early hours of Dec 29, 2013. Mr. Chia, along with 2 of his accomplices, Indonesian worker Febri Irwansyah Djatmiko and Chua Leong Aik murdered Mr. Chua after brutally assaulting him inside a van. He then decided to dump the dead body in a live-firing area in Lim Chu Kang.

Ms. Goh and her 2  daughters were not in Singapore when the incident happened. They were holidaying in Johor Bahru. When they returned to Singapore on Dec 31, they were stopped at Woodlands Checkpoint and told to assist in police investigations.

Trial for the case has begun, and if convicted, Mr. Chia could face the death penalty or life imprisonment.

Infidelity is difficult to accept. Hard as it may seem, the aim should be to stay calm and not to do anything stupid or homicidal. Think. Is the relationship over for you? Or do you love your spouse too much to let him/her go? Do you believe that a counsellor might be able to help? Was it a pardonable offence for you? Decide what you want for yourself. Remember, you will have to live with your choice, so choose wisely. Here are some pointers for acting rationally in this difficult period:

• Do not confront without sufficient evidence

Make sure your sources are accurate, lest the accusation turns out to be false. In which case, it will be difficult to re-establish the trust in your relationship.

• Do not accept responsibility for the infidelity

Doing so, puts the blame on you and makes it easier for your cheating partner. If it really was because of you, there are a hundred other options like counselling, or even divorce. Cheaters cheat, because they made that choice, and they value it more than their commitment to you.

• Do not give them the time to decide

Cheating is as serious a crime as any, and punishable in most countries. To be frank, cheaters don’t deserve the privileged ‘time to decide’, it’s almost like giving them the power to negotiate.

• Do not beg or plead to repair the marriage

Maintain your self-respect and dignity at all times. You have to believe that it was not your fault and you really are not the offending party here. Set aside your grief and take care of yourself. See a lawyer if you have to, and protect your assets.

• Do not waste time swearing and figuring out the ‘Why’s and 'How’s'

Seriously, this will just fatigue your mind even more. Focus your energy onto yourself, instead of wasting it on a cheater. Figure out what you want now. Do you think you will be able to continue with this relationship? If not, what is your next plan of action? These are issues that require your energy and focus right now.

Also READ: Top divorce lawyers in Singapore

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