Sex while breastfeeding – yay or nay?
We all know that when there's a newborn, it can be difficult to find time and space for sex. Read on to find out what this mum did and how people are reacting to it.
If you have kids, especially a newborn, you would know just how challenging it is to find the time and space to have sex. And let’s face it, as much as your world revolves around the tiny little being (or beings), parents still have their needs and at the very least, they try to squeeze in a quick romp somehow, someway. How about sex while breastfeeding?
Sex while breastfeeding
Tasha Maile, a famous Youtuber, in one of her videos mentioned that she had sex while breastfeeding. In the video she says,
“I remember the baby sleeping on me, breastfeeding, and my ex-husband and I would have sex from behind. There’s nothing bad about making love, at all, ever. So enjoy it. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your fantasies.”
As you can imagine, this placed her in the ‘limelight’ for all the wrong reasons and she received some scathing criticism. Mums were horrified at the thought of having sex while breastfeeding and they made it clear that breastfeeding and sex are both extremely personal and should be confined to an experience involving only the relevant parties.
This isn’t the first time Tasha has become a cause célèbre. Also known as The Spiritual Tasha Mama, Tasha is a well-known Youtuber, who is a passionate breastfeeding advocate. She has uploaded uncensored videos of herself breastfeeding her two sons aged four and two.
Her sons can be seen playing with her breasts and critics have even called the act ‘incentuous’. Tasha of course hit back saying that she feels ‘sorry’ for those who judge her.
Tasha, who suffers from insomnia, is also a sleep teacher. She uploads videos that offer guidance and advice to help people who have the same problem.
So, coming back to the topic of sex while breastfeeding…
Tasha did have some mums who defended her and said there’s nothing quite wrong with having sex while breastfeeding. Now, before you go up in arms about the whole matter, you might want to note that although she says enjoy your fantasies, she never explicitly stated that she had sex while breastfeeding to fulfill any sort of fantasy. Seems like it’s more for convenience than anything else.
We found this controversy rather interesting, and asked some of our readers how they feel about sex while breastfeeding. Here are some of their comments. Do note that given the nature of the topic, some of our well, shy readers, decided to keep their identity anonymous.
Our readers’ opinions
“I actually think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, I’m sure there are many people who have, at some point, had sex while breastfeeding.
The only difference is that they kept it behind closed doors and didn’t tell the whole world about it. To each his own, if it works for a couple then why not? So long as the baby isn’t involved in the sex in any way I don’t have a problem with it.”
“Breastfeeding needs to be encouraged but not when you are making love! How do you bond with your baby when you are sexually aroused? I don’t know, it’s like taking multitasking to a whole new level. Unless it boosts your milk supply, then there’s a purpose to have sex while breastfeeding, otherwise I’m not for it.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures! I mean, if the baby only sleeps when she’s latched on, which isn’t rare for young infants, then when is the couple ever going to have sex if not while breastfeeding? People have their needs too don’t they?”
“Well…it’s not like the baby knows that the parents are having sex while breastfeeding…”
“Oh that’s weird. Period. Just so weird.”
And here’s what a dad had to say, in just a few words.
“It’s distracting, but yes I can still get turned on, and if that’s the only time and space, then why not?”
Now, just in case you’re wondering how much or when babies have an actual conscious experience of what’s happening around them, a group in Paris, led by a neuroscientist, did a study on the brainwaves of infants in three groups – 5, 12 and 15 months old.
The findings were that only after a year of age do children have a brain signature that is similar to the conscious perception that adults have.
So I guess you don’t have to worry too much about that!
There you go mums, apparently having sex while breastfeeding isn’t completely frowned upon by our readers. The general consensus seems to be that it’s okay if it’s not some kind of weird fetish and if it has absolutely nothing to do with the baby.