If there’s one thing I’ve learnt having three kids in primary school, it’s that there’s always another side to a story. If you feel like your child is being picked on by a classmate, then by all means go in and advocate for your child. But you should also keep in mind that there may be a completely innocent explanation for the behaviour, or there could be other factors at play, like a behavioural diagnosis or learning disability. Instead of going in guns blazing, it’s always best to approach the situation (of school bullying) with an open mind.
One mum has done just that, but when things didn’t go to plan, parents came together and concocted a solution of their own.
Another Child’s Disruptive Behaviour In Class Upset This Mum
Source: iStock.
“My daughter’s third-grade class has a kid in it who has something gravely wrong with her,” the mum wrote in her post to Reddit. “I don’t know if she’s chemically imbalanced or what the deal is, that part isn’t really my business, I just know that how it manifests is the child is highly disruptive to the learning environment.”
The woman explained that the child in her daughter’s class has “total meltdowns” in the middle of the classroom, swearing and shouting, which brings learning to a standstill. She is also more mean than your regular eight-year-old, “needling into kids deepest insecurities and making them not want to come to school.”
Offending child was causing issues for other children too, was it school bullying?
The mum approached the school with her concerns, which resulted in conflict management strategies for her daughter to try.
But then the mum discovered it was not an issue isolated to just her daughter. The offending child was causing issues for other children too, so the parents banded together and approached the school, only to be blocked by their inability to discuss much due to privacy laws.
“So we went to the mother of the girl (specifically I and one of the dads did, so she wouldn’t feel bombarded but wouldn’t be able to brush it off as one rude parent’s misplaced blame),” the woman continued.
“She vaguely said that yes her daughter is ‘dealing with some things’. But that experts have recommended it would be best for her to work through them in a regular classroom environment and to learn norms being surrounded by her same-aged peers.”
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The two parents tried to reason that, the rest of the class is suffering at the expense of this one child working through her issues in a mainstream classroom but the woman dismissed their concerns.
“We are now petitioning to have the child removed from the classroom,” she wrote.
Image courtesy: Pexels | For representational purposes only
“We tried to delicately communicate that her learning whatever she is was coming at the expense of all the other kids learning their academics and feeling socially safe, but she more or less said, in a kind but firm way, ‘Welcome to public school. Your kids are going to have to get along with all kinds of people’.”
The other parents then suggested the school implement an IEP (individualised education program) but they had already tried that and the family declined the offer, so they feel as though they have no option than to start a petition.
“We are now petitioning to have the child removed from the classroom,” she wrote.
“There is a camp that feels as though this is against the foundational principles of the education system. That everyone should be able to partake who wants to and if we don’t like it we should take our kids out instead of forcing them somewhere they don’t want to be or don’t feel is best for their child.”
The woman admitted she would have automatically assumed she was in the wrong on this one, but after living through recent events, she’s not quite sure.
RELATED: Bullying really happens in our schools
Assistance In The Form Of An (individualised education program) IEP Was Offered
Image courtesy: Pexels
One person pointed out the woman was not in the wrong since she had tried approaching the school first: “[You were not the a**hole] if you went to the board and asked them to come up with a solution. They might decide to offer extra support to that classroom. You can also ask to have your child moved to another classroom.”
“We had a classroom aide in 5th grade, mostly to help manage a kid who had occasional outbursts where we had to get escorted out of the classroom while the kid was calmed down,” wrote another person. “It got the kid 1:1 attention needed for learning and help behaviorally/emotionally as needed… Maybe that’s what this student needs and bonus, more help overall for the teacher.”
“They left no option but to force the issue”
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A fellow teacher chimed in agreeing it all came down to the parent declining help from the school
“Teacher here, this is the correct answer; from what information is being given here, I’d say if the parent refuses to sign an IEP that assigns an aide to the child along with a clear plan for social/ emotional supports that are designed to improve behaviour and performance in the classroom then you have the right to ask for your child to be moved to a different class or for the student with behavioural issues to be removed.”
“They left no option but to force the issue,” added another. “The rest of the class are not props for the therapy of one.”
A few commenters voiced their concerns about parents singling out the one child, who is not really the one to blame in all of this: “It’s fair to ask your child to be moved to a different classroom,” wrote one, “but circulating a petition to single out a child is awful.”
What do you think? Did the worried parents have any other options at this stage?
This article was first published on Kidspot and republished on theAsianparent with permission.
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