X
theAsianparent Logo
theAsianparent Logo
Product GuideSign in
  • Pregnancy
    • Due date calculator
    • I'm pregnant
    • Trying To Conceive
    • Labour
    • After birth
    • Baby loss
  • Parenting
    • Parenting & Play by Friso
    • Parent's Guide
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Toddler
    • Pre-schooler
    • Kids
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diseases-Injuries
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Meal Planner
    • Health
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Pre-School
    • Primary School
    • Secondary School
    • Primary School Directory
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Travel & Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Home
    • Fitness
    • Contests & promotions
  • News
    • International
    • Health
    • Celebrity
    • Singapore
  • Money Parenting
    • Tips for Parents
    • Tips for Toddlers
    • Tips for Older Kids
    • The 5 Personas
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Press Releases
  • Project Sidekicks
  • Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Contributor
  • VIP

This mum's letter goes viral to man who publicly mum-shamed her!

4 min read
This mum's letter goes viral to man who publicly mum-shamed her!This mum's letter goes viral to man who publicly mum-shamed her!

As if beating ourselves up wasn't bad enough, imagine being the subject of public mumshaming!

Kids causing havoc in the supermarket? There’s nothing like being mum-shamed by a total stranger to make you feel better.

On a scale of one-to-nightmare, taking your kids grocery shopping is pretty high up there on the list of things every parent dreads. From grabbing random items off the shelves and running off at top speed down the aisles to demanding baked goods and constantly trying to climb out of a moving trolley, it’s basically a disaster waiting to happen.

Every parent knows this. You do what you can to get through it and you never- ever- judge other parents for their kids’ behaviour at the shops. Just cos your child is happily munching on his free apple today doesn’t mean he won’t be pulling boxes of tampons off the shelf, opening them and throwing them on the floor tomorrow. Which is why this one mum’s facebook post hit a nerve when she pleaded with the man who ‘shamed’ her at Costco for not paying enough attention to her kids.

public mumshaming

Image source: Facebook (@bfmamatalk)

 

“To the man at Costco”

“To the man at Costco today who glanced over at me on my phone while my babies were fussing and felt the need to say, ‘You see these babies? They fuss like that because they want your attention. Maybe you should get off of your phone and give them your attention’.”

Firstly, can I just ask how these people got to a point where they were confident enough to tell others how to live their lives? That’s one thing about these stories I never understand, but, as a woman who has, herself, been mum-shamed at the supermarket (for giving my kid a cookie, no less) I know it happens. Anyway, I digress. The mum went on: 

“First of all, I had no idea the toddler saying, ‘Mama, pizza, mama, pizza’ over and over and the baby making pre-cry warnings to alert me that if we don’t move soon he’s going to lose it wanted my attention. Thank you for that brilliant analysis of the situation.”

public mumshaming

Image source: iStock

“I ran out of tricks and my kids ran out of patience”

She then proceeded to explain the things that she had already done in order to placate the two kids in the fifteen minutes she’d been waiting in line. And let’s face it, fifteen minutes in a trolley might as well be fifteen hours in economy class when you’ve got two ratty children. She’d already done snacks, books, toys, clapping games and eye spy around the store. All of which the bloke hadn’t seen because he’d just arrived in line. And honestly, it sucks waiting fifteen minutes when you’re an adult let alone if you’re two. But even with that in mind, she said, 

 “Sensing the meltdown brewing, I took out my phone, downloaded the Costco app and texted my husband to ask what our log in is in an attempt to just get my membership card on my phone. Because I ran out of tricks and my kids ran out of patience and now my goal was to just get us out of this line as quickly as possible before they released the kraken.”

public mumshaming

Image source: iStock

Which was exactly when Old Mate decided to jump in with some helpful parenting advice and made her feel like total crap. Which we all get, because we’ve all been there. If it’s not a direct stern word, it’s a subtle eye roll or a deep sigh of barely concealed judgement. Whatever it is, it’s not on, and this mum was right to call him out. 

“Everyone, if you see a mother (or father) with young children out in public ANYWHERE, assume she is stressed out. Assume she is trying her damndest to get through the situation. Assume this is the very last place she wants to be. Assume she’d rather be home cuddling, playing, running around with her babies. Assume she probably has had no sleep since her first child was born. Assume she is hungry because her toddler decided he wanted extra eggs this morning so she gave him her breakfast in addition to his own. And if you have nothing kind or supportive to offer her, please mind your own business.”

Amen. She couldn’t be more right. However well-intentioned, kids who are not in any way related to you are not your problem. Let us manage our own madness and get on with your day.

 

This article was first published on Kidspot and republished here with permission. 

Partner Stories
Bathroom Cleaning 101: A Complete Clean in Just 5 Minute Featuring Tips from Zoe Raymond
Bathroom Cleaning 101: A Complete Clean in Just 5 Minute Featuring Tips from Zoe Raymond
Welcoming a Newborn 101: 4 Handy Tips that All New Dads Should Know
Welcoming a Newborn 101: 4 Handy Tips that All New Dads Should Know
Safety First! BeSafe Keeps Your Kids Safe and Comfortable While You Drive in Peace
Safety First! BeSafe Keeps Your Kids Safe and Comfortable While You Drive in Peace
How To Baby Proof Your House in 4 Easy Steps
How To Baby Proof Your House in 4 Easy Steps

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

kidspot

  • Home
  • /
  • Parenting
  • /
  • This mum's letter goes viral to man who publicly mum-shamed her!
Share:
  • Is This Mum's Cleaning Schedule the Hardest You've Ever Seen?

    Is This Mum's Cleaning Schedule the Hardest You've Ever Seen?

  • This Reddit Post Proves You're Not Alone When You Feel Like You're Not a Good Parent

    This Reddit Post Proves You're Not Alone When You Feel Like You're Not a Good Parent

  • "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

    "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

  • Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

    Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

app info
get app banner
  • Is This Mum's Cleaning Schedule the Hardest You've Ever Seen?

    Is This Mum's Cleaning Schedule the Hardest You've Ever Seen?

  • This Reddit Post Proves You're Not Alone When You Feel Like You're Not a Good Parent

    This Reddit Post Proves You're Not Alone When You Feel Like You're Not a Good Parent

  • "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

    "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

  • Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

    Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Education
    • Events
    • Allergies & Conditions
  • Family Occasions
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Child Safety
    • Health
    • Diseases-Injuries
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Money
    • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diet & Weightloss
  • Normal Delivery
    • Cesarean Delivery
    • Behaviour
    • Secondary School
    • Formula Feeding
  • Ages & Stages
    • Latching & Concerns
    • Festivals & Holidays
    • Education
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • More
    • TAP Community
    • Advertise With Us
    • Contact Us
    • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
  • India flag India
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
  • Australia flag Australia
  • Japan flag Japan
  • Nigeria flag Nigeria
  • Kenya flag Kenya
© Copyright theAsianparent 2022. All rights reserved
About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

theAsianparent heart icon
We’d like to send you notifications for the latest news and updates on baby care and health.