This mum's letter goes viral to man who publicly mum-shamed her!

This mum's letter goes viral to man who publicly mum-shamed her!

As if beating ourselves up wasn't bad enough, imagine being the subject of public mumshaming!

Kids causing havoc in the supermarket? There’s nothing like being mum-shamed by a total stranger to make you feel better.

On a scale of one-to-nightmare, taking your kids grocery shopping is pretty high up there on the list of things every parent dreads. From grabbing random items off the shelves and running off at top speed down the aisles to demanding baked goods and constantly trying to climb out of a moving trolley, it’s basically a disaster waiting to happen.

Every parent knows this. You do what you can to get through it and you never- ever- judge other parents for their kids’ behaviour at the shops. Just cos your child is happily munching on his free apple today doesn’t mean he won’t be pulling boxes of tampons off the shelf, opening them and throwing them on the floor tomorrow. Which is why this one mum’s facebook post hit a nerve when she pleaded with the man who ‘shamed’ her at Costco for not paying enough attention to her kids.

public mumshaming

Image source: Facebook (@bfmamatalk)


“To the man at Costco”

“To the man at Costco today who glanced over at me on my phone while my babies were fussing and felt the need to say, ‘You see these babies? They fuss like that because they want your attention. Maybe you should get off of your phone and give them your attention’.”

Firstly, can I just ask how these people got to a point where they were confident enough to tell others how to live their lives? That’s one thing about these stories I never understand, but, as a woman who has, herself, been mum-shamed at the supermarket (for giving my kid a cookie, no less) I know it happens. Anyway, I digress. The mum went on: 

“First of all, I had no idea the toddler saying, ‘Mama, pizza, mama, pizza’ over and over and the baby making pre-cry warnings to alert me that if we don’t move soon he’s going to lose it wanted my attention. Thank you for that brilliant analysis of the situation.”

public mumshaming

Image source: iStock

“I ran out of tricks and my kids ran out of patience”

She then proceeded to explain the things that she had already done in order to placate the two kids in the fifteen minutes she’d been waiting in line. And let’s face it, fifteen minutes in a trolley might as well be fifteen hours in economy class when you’ve got two ratty children. She’d already done snacks, books, toys, clapping games and eye spy around the store. All of which the bloke hadn’t seen because he’d just arrived in line. And honestly, it sucks waiting fifteen minutes when you’re an adult let alone if you’re two. But even with that in mind, she said, 

 “Sensing the meltdown brewing, I took out my phone, downloaded the Costco app and texted my husband to ask what our log in is in an attempt to just get my membership card on my phone. Because I ran out of tricks and my kids ran out of patience and now my goal was to just get us out of this line as quickly as possible before they released the kraken.”

public mumshaming

Image source: iStock

Which was exactly when Old Mate decided to jump in with some helpful parenting advice and made her feel like total crap. Which we all get, because we’ve all been there. If it’s not a direct stern word, it’s a subtle eye roll or a deep sigh of barely concealed judgement. Whatever it is, it’s not on, and this mum was right to call him out. 

“Everyone, if you see a mother (or father) with young children out in public ANYWHERE, assume she is stressed out. Assume she is trying her damndest to get through the situation. Assume this is the very last place she wants to be. Assume she’d rather be home cuddling, playing, running around with her babies. Assume she probably has had no sleep since her first child was born. Assume she is hungry because her toddler decided he wanted extra eggs this morning so she gave him her breakfast in addition to his own. And if you have nothing kind or supportive to offer her, please mind your own business.”

Amen. She couldn’t be more right. However well-intentioned, kids who are not in any way related to you are not your problem. Let us manage our own madness and get on with your day.


This article was first published on Kidspot and republished here with permission. 

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