Sexagenarian, Mel Gibson recently welcomed his first child with girlfriend, Rosalind Ross. The baby, Lars Gerard Gibson, was born in Los Angeles, weighing all of 5 pounds, 5 ounces. He is the youngest of the Gibson brood.
Mel has seven children with his first wife, Robyn Moore, and has a daughter from his ex-girlfriend, the Russian singer-songwriter Oksana Grigorieva. According to this report, he even joked about beating Clint Eastwood at having more number of kids. “I was talking to Clint the other day. I said, ‘How many kids you got?’ He said, ‘Eight.’ So I’m beating him,” he quipped.
Having become a father for the ninth time, it’s obvious that there are no new dad jitters that he may be experiencing. However, not many dads can boast of becoming a parent in their 60s and even lesser can boast of knowing how to go about the fine art of being a new dad. Most often, it is the mums are left wishing the fathers knew what needs to be done, when and how.
When I had my baby, I could see that my husband wanted to participate in almost everything. However, neither had he done any research nor had he read up about how t o deal with a newborn (or a new mum). So yes, we had our share f battles, mostly silent ones for nobody wanted to wake up the infant who’d rather gurgle and coo than going to sleep.
I’m positive there are plenty of such couples out there going through this frustration of having an inclined-to-help dad, however clueless! Wouldn’t it be just wonderful if you could figure exactly what these new mums wanted? The woman who was all fun and loveable has suddenly turned cranky. Wonder why? Well, here are some possible reasons coming from a been-there-through-that mum:
- Life has changed… for BOTH of you. I know life will never be the same again. But for the new mum, it’s an all-encompassing experience — mentally, emotionally and, physically. At least, you have your body to yourself. There isn’t another human latched on to a now-sore nipple, sometimes just to be soothed. So, you have to let go of the weekend out with the boys. But hey, your wife has probably let go off her shower/food/nap/snack time too.
- She’s looking for support, not advice. When my bub was just a few weeks old, I figured a pattern of her colicky cries. I knew by 6 pm I had to be with her, prepared for the worst cry-a-thon. So, as she would be fast asleep in the afternoon, I’d go around doing other baby-related chores. One day my husband decided to ‘suggest’ some wonderful ideas. According to him, I should be sleeping as the baby sleeps so I’m well rested. I do understand the intention was noble, but how about just taking that chore off my hands and then letting me rest?
- Learn from her. As patronising as it sounds, there’s no harm in taking some tips from her. Taking care of a baby comes intuitively to mums. They may have read up and researched, but even if they hadn’t they’d know exactly what will soothe their cranky baby. DO NOT deliberately do a shoddy job of cleaning the feeding bottle or folding the clothes, since you know your wife will do it all over again. She may not be a perfectionist, but she wants only the best for her bub. So turn that knob of humanity in you and just entertain her whims. The joy on her face will be irreplaceable.
There are no real rules to follow, new dads. As long as you are paying attention, you will figure out what needs to be done. Communicate with your wife and try to understand how you can make her life a wee bit easier. Most new mums will be just glad to hear that.
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the article, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook to stay up-to-date on the latest from sg.theasianparent.com!!
[Images courtesy: Youtube, Pixabay]
