Hey Daddies-to-be, congratulations on moving past the precarious first trimester where morning sickness, mood swings and unpredictability abound. In the second trimester, the raging hormones caused by the baby’s presence during the first trimester may have settled and your wife should be feeling more comfortable with the new changes.
Even though dads are not physically carrying the child, many new fathers experience sympathy pains similar to their pregnant wives. The second trimester is often when the pregnant mum feels the best in her pregnancy. This is also the best time for new fathers to be involved with the pregnancy by showing support to their wives and taking initiative in planning for the baby’s arrival.
Becoming a parent is life’s greatest journey. We share some tips here to help dads be part of the journey during the second trimester.
Your little love is growing, and mummy’s new curves in the second trimester may need some getting used to!
- Be sensitive to the changes to her body and remark accordingly. Even as you experience the excitement of feeling the baby fluttering inside mum, she will still experience physical changes as her body accommodates a growing baby. When she raises concerns over her body image, reassure her of your deep love and commitment to her. When she is overcome with physical exhaustion, be there to pick her up with your gentle and thoughtful touches. Talk to her to understand how she feels, and assure her that these changes are only temporary.
- Show genuine interest in your wife. Even if your wife is a very confident woman, feelings of doubt and anxiety might kick in during her pregnancy. Swelling ankles, hands and face, concerns about stretch marks, continuous weight gain and other physical and emotional fluctuations may heighten her insecurities. Be the sweet and thoughtful man you are by sending her text messages during working hours to ask about her day, or if she’s had lunch. Dads can also help to research products suitable for pregnancy. Skin care products like Gaia are developed for sensitive skin, and offer solutions to tackle itching skin and stretch marks. Lend a hand and help by applying the cream for her. Nothing beats some genuine care for your soon-to-be-mama.
- Be her personal assistant. Take the initiative and offer to help run errands. If she is unsure which baby items to buy, do the legwork in terms of research and put together a shopping list for the things needed. Mothercare would be your go-to store, so let your wife know you are there to help make decisions with her too. If she’s craving for food, you know what to do, right?
Fathers, shopping has evolved to a new level just as your role in this relationship. Time to fall in at the baby store!
- Be your wife’s personal masseuse. A massage does wonders to ease the discomfort a pregnant mum may feel. From lower back pains to periodic episodes of leg cramps when she sleeps, a tender massage or back rub from you might help to relax the tension in these areas. Plus, you will earn brownie points for being caring and sensitive. Yes, you’re the reason why she wants to have a baby with you!
- Be patient and understanding. Your pregnant wife may experience a variety of conditions ranging from abdominal pains, loose teeth, heartburn to Braxton Hicks contractions towards the end of the pregnancy. Certain scents may put her off (like your favourite cologne!) or she’s just not in the mood for intimacy. Be attentive, patient and understanding to her needs – these notes of appreciation help build confidence in her that you will be her pillar of support on this parenting journey.
- Have the number of your wife’s doctor on speed dial. While we all pray for a smooth pregnancy, sometimes conditions like an aching back, pelvis and hips, bleeding or Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), a serious leg condition where a blood clot forms in a vein causing pain and swelling in the leg, might crop up. Be mission-ready, gentleman, because you need to be that superhero with quick access to medical help.
Be her knight in shining armour, the shoulder to depend on, and the hand to hold on to in this parenting journey.
- Help with housework. Household chores are challenging for a pregnant woman. She is easily tired and wielding a mop on a slippery floor is the last thing you want her to be doing. Help lighten the load by doing the heavy lifting yourself or hire help to manage the housework. Knock Knock offers a great housekeeping package and it will give you the opportunity to spend quality time together as a couple. It’s win-win!
- Take charge of financial planning. Mums are planners by nature and she will have many concerns over the baby’s future, from education funds to life insurance. Ease her worries about the expenses of having a new baby by taking care of financial planning for the family. She will be impressed and comforted by the sense of security you provide.
Discuss plans with her to open a POSB Smiley Child Development Account (CDA) which is a special savings account for your newborn with dollar-for-dollar matching from the government. With this account, you’ll be able to enjoy exclusive discounts from POSB’s merchants that take care of your baby and family needs, earn 2% per annum interest on your CDA balance and get a free Nespresso Coffee machine worth $200 with any selected regular endowment plan. Trust me, you’ll soon see why that coffee machine makes a thoughtful gift too!
We hope that the simple tips above help you as you prepare to embark on life’s greatest journey as parents. We wish you all the best and always remember that you have help along the way.
The article is written in collaboration with POSB Smiley CDA to support parents in raising children in Singapore. Apply online for an account today!
Daddies, how are you supporting your pregnant wife during her second trimester? Do share your tips with fellow fathers!
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