Many dads want to feel appreciated and valued as parents, survey finds

A new survey found that many dads feel their parental roles are undervalued. Dads want to feel appreciated for their unique contributions to their families

Though gifts are nice, it turns out many dads only want one thing this coming Father’s day: Respect.

According to a survey conducted by TODAY, a majority of dads feel like they aren’t valued at home and in the workplace.

Of the 500 dads who participated in the survey, nearly two-thirds felt that their contributions to their families and society weren’t appreciated.

But, it turns some of their partners are making more of an effort to make them feel more appreciated because, two-thirds of the respondents shared that they feel more appreciated in their homes.

photo: dreamstime

Dads need respect

“Parents usually have respect for each other, but if you haven’t been awake at 3 a.m. holding a toddler covered in vomit who needs to see you smile and say everything is going to be all right, then you can’t really understand everything mums and dads do 24 hours a day,” Chris Cate, host of the ParentNormal Comedy Podcast, told TODAY Parents.

More than 70 percent of the dads who participated in the survey claim that they struggle to achieve work-life balance. And more than half of them share the feeling that their employers aren’t supportive of their roles as fathers.

Cate believes that spending quality time whenever possible is the key to juggling both work and family life.

“I have three kids and work full time, so I don’t think it’s possible to balance everything every day,” he explains. “I think the best thing to do is try to make the biggest impact you can in the moments you have with each other. If you only have an hour after work to spend with your kids or spouse, make sure to talk to them and make that hour meaningful rather than just be in the same room with them.”

It isn’t babysitting

The dads also agreed that they do not consider it “babysitting” whenever they care for their kids when their wife isn’t around. A majority of them saw themselves as fathers and not merely child care providers.

Many of them could also relate to the experience of having an outsider praise them for “babysitting” their kids.

One dad believes this widely held perception has to change.

“People do call it babysitting when I am alone with the kids. I don’t, but people do,” said Seth King, the funny dad behind Late Notes on Instagram. “I definitely don’t feel like I am babysitting. Maybe I might call it ‘Dad time’ or ‘Wrestlemania’ or ‘Don’t-tell-mum-we-did-this’ or ‘Dadpocalypse’ or something similar, but never babysitting. I’m their dad, not an unrelated third party.”

photo: dreamstime

Penn Holderness, a dad-of-two who creates parodies and videos with his family on their YouTube channel, admits to calling himself a “babysitter” in the past.

“I used to call it that, and (my wife) was like, ‘Stop saying that. You are their father. You are not a babysitter.’ I didn’t realise that ticked people off, but it makes sense,” he said. “Dads need to be dads and do things babysitters don’t — hug them so hard they can barely breathe, stay up with them later than they are supposed to, eat off the floor, swing them until they are dizzy, encourage farting…that kind of stuff.”

It wasn’t just dads who participated in the survey. Mums also shared their views; a majority of them agreed that dads deserve more respect and appreciation–and not just on Father’s Day.

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