Lack Of Emotional Intelligence: Signs You Shouldn't Ignore

Lack Of Emotional Intelligence: Signs You Shouldn't Ignore

Another aspect of life that school grades can't help with is developing Emotional Intelligence.

We’re often told that the Intelligence Quotient is important for kids to do well in life. However, an often overlooked aspect of a good life also lies in our relationships with other people – including our partner.

Your husband or wife will be with you for most of your life, so it makes sense to be emotionally in-tune. What’s more, it’s known that higher emotional intelligence, or “EQ” leads to improved relationship between couples. 

So how do you know if your spouse has a lack of emotional intelligence? 

Top 12 Signs of a Lack of Emotional Intelligence

If your partner…

1. Can’t keep their emotions in check 

Does your hubby or wife burst with anger over petty matters? Do they get furious for no apparent reason? These sort of behaviours can signal a lack of emotional intelligence as they can’t manage their emotions well. People with high EQ, on the other hand, are able to adjust their emotions according to the situation.

2. Is oblivious to what you’re feeling  

One of the more important parts of EQ is being able to understand what others are feeling through their body language and facial expressions. When your spouse can’t clearly see that you’re not pleased or mistakes your joy for something else, that’s a red flag of further issues in forming emotional connections.

3. Has friendships that don’t last

Does your partner seem to have a difficult time making new friends? Or were their previous friendships with friends and colleagues perhaps short lived? These are signs that your partner could have low EQ. This is because the converse is true – people with high EQ can maintain solid networks.  

4. Don’t express their emotions clearly

Understanding how other people feel through their body language is an essential part of EQ – and so, too, is being able to express your own emotions. If you find it difficult to decipher what your partner’s emotions are (particularly if you usually detect others’ feelings easily), it’s possible that your partner has a lack of emotional intelligence.

5. Doesn’t understand the social aspects of emotions

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? Your partner…

  • Jokes around in a funeral
  • Becomes enraged over trivial matters
  • Is hardly aware of the fact that they’re making others angry

If this behaviour sounds familiar, it could mean that your other half doesn’t understand how emotions operate in a social context and how to express their emotions. These are signs of a lack of emotional intelligence, too.

6. Can’t deal with other people’s unhappiness

lack of emotional intelligence

Does your hubby continue to become angry while you’re down in the dumps? | Photo: iStock

Being unable to get along with how other people feel is a sign of a lack of emotional intelligence. In particular, if your partner has low EQ, they would find it tough to respond well when other people harbour negative emotions.

7. Can’t understand how you’re feeling through your tone

One of the clearest ways to sense how other people are feeling is through their tone. If your spouse is unable to detect whether you’re feeling annoyed or ecstatic from another room, this could be another sign.

8. Doesn’t sympathise well with others

Empathising and sympathising demands acknowledging how other people feel then responding with proper emotional concern. It’s a complicated ability that isn’t easy to master and is a sign of not having a lack of emotional intelligence.

9. Has little to no control over emotional loudness

That includes both optimistic and adverse emotional responses. If it’s too loud, it could mean that your partner is having a hard time managing their emotions.

10. Doesn’t react to emotional movies

Be it love stories, suspenseful movies or horrifying scenes, if your partner doesn’t seem to be in tune with the film’s emotional vibe, it could mean that they have a lack of emotional intelligence.

11. Dismisses the importance of emotions most of the time 

People with low EQ know that their EQ is one of their weakness. So they dismiss the significance of emotions in general, emphasising logic as what matters instead.

This is untrue. In addition to improving communication and maturing relationships, emotions are also essential for effective thinking, especially in situations with large risks or an emergency.

12. Can’t understand how your dog is feeling 

lack of emotional intelligence

Photo: iStock

Social animals like dogs can feel a variety of emotions and show them quite clearly. Someone who is oblivious to how your dog appears to feel is a sign of a lack of emotional intelligence.


References: Psychology Today

Also Read:

Why we should raise children with high EQs

5 emotional skills your child should possess

Low emotional intelligence could be killing your marriage

Give your kids the perfect balance of IQ and EQ

7 signs that you might already be having an emotional affair

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