Did you know that having an emotional affair with someone can be as damaging as a physical affair? In some cases, it can even be more destructive since emotional affairs are much more complicated to resolve.
That’s why it’s important to know when to draw then line and to know when a platonic friendship might be starting to go a different direction.
1. You share a lot of your marriage problems with someone else
In a marriage, your spouse is usually the first person that you’ll share your problems with, even if the problems are about your relationship. If you find yourself complaining about your partner to someone else, then maybe it’s time to think if you’re already starting to have an emotional relationship with that person.
2. You think a lot about someone who is not your spouse
This shouldn’t come as no surprise, but if you frequently think of a person other than your spouse, then you might be having an emotional relationship with that person.
Marie Land, psychologist, shares, “If your thoughts are preoccupied with a friend and some alternate life you could be living together, you’re likely doing damage to your primary relationship”
“If the right circumstances exist, emotional infidelity is all too common and convenient. There’s nothing terrible about enjoying a little attention from time to time. But when you’re spending time with your partner and still thinking about the other person, you may be crossing the line into emotional cheating.”
3. You’re starting to keep secrets, hide things, or even lie
If you start lying to your spouse about talking to someone, or if you’re secretive about meeting a person, then it might mean that you’re stepping in dangerous territory.
Deception starts small, usually a white lie, then it escalates. That’s why if you feel that you’re hiding your interaction with someone from your spouse, try and ask yourself why you’re so scared that they’ll find out. You might already be having an emotional affair and not know it.
4. You start comparing
This is a tell-tale sign that you’re having an emotional relationship with someone. If you start comparing your spouse to a close friend and feel that you wish your spouse was more like your friend, then you might want to reassess your relationship and think if you’re having an emotional relationship.
“Maybe you’re raving about how funny your coworker is, but keep in mind that you two aren’t trying to make a relationship work. You aren’t sharing the demands of house chores and demanding schedules. Give your real partner credit for what they’re doing right and recognise that you may be giving the other person too much credit.” Marie Land adds.
5. You think about someone else during sex
This is another clear sign that you’re already having an emotional relationship with someone else. Obviously, if you’re fantasising about someone else other than your partner during sex, it’s a red flag.
“It can actually take your sexual energy out of the relationship,” Marie Land shares. “Put it this way: Would you want your partner to think of someone else while having sex with you?”
6. You don’t like being at home
It says something about your relationship if you start feeling like you shouldn’t be at home. It can also mean that you’re trying to actively avoid your spouse.
It can also be a slippery slope; you start spending less time at home, and you spend it more in the company of other people. It can start a full-blown emotional relationship, and if you’re not careful, it might become more than that.
7. Your spouse starts asking if there’s something wrong
If your spouse asks you if there’s something wrong in the relationship, then chances are that they’re seeing something that you might not be aware of.
Take some time to reassess yourself and your relationship, and ask yourself if you’ve been cold, distant, or if you’re doing anything to make your spouse feel that way.
Sources: huffingtonpost.com, livestrong.com
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