Being an independent woman meant I was comfortable doing many things alone. Eating, watching movie, shopping, you name it. Still, I never thought I’d go through labour and give birth by myself without anyone I knew by my side.
Well, Covid happened!
My husband was still in quarantine; we were short of just one day, but our baby decided to break my water bag.
If my husband can’t come out of quarantine, my baby has got to come out. This is the story of how I delivered my baby all by myself (of course with the help of a great medical team) and this is THE most daring thing I’ve done thus far!
Here’s The Story Of My Lone Labour
Image courtesy: Samantha Whang
Shortly after midnight, I closed my laptop and went to pee but I felt a gush of water coming out uncontrollably.
First thought? “Don’t tell me my water bag burst.” “Yes, darling, I’m afraid it is.”
My brain knew what that was, but I kind of chose to be in denial mode and headed back to bed with a really heavy heart. We are just one day short of Dwayne exiting quarantine.
“I waited 13 days, don’t do this to me baby” I said to my belly.
I really wanted both of us to witness Em’s birth together especially since Dwayne already wasn’t with me half of my pregnancy (*context: He was in Hong Kong, I came back to Singapore earlier). Talk about Murphy’s Law!
However, once I laid down in bed, more water gushed out. The next thing I knew, it felt like I peed in my bed. Stood up and my floor was soaking wet.
“Okay, this is it. That’s it. Looks like I will have to go into labour alone!” I told myself. *Mulan warrior mode on.*
Chronicles Of My Labour
I took a shower, grabbed my wallet, phone, pillow (really, that’s all you need for labour. Other things can come later). and headed for the hospital. My hospital bag was not even packed and was in the other house.
My birth plan, previously a one-page list about instructing my husband where to admit me and what to do in case of emergency, shrunk to a single-item request: Get my baby out ASAP!
Upon checking into hospital, there was no pain yet but after an hour, she came in to check on me again and told me that I am 4cm dilated.
She threw me another million dollar question: “Do you want the epidural? Now is the best window, you have 5mins to decide.”
Was feeling quite conflicted because pain was still bearable – a part of me wanted to be a hero but my logical mind took over. “Hey, no one is giving you an award for being tough, people create epidurals for a reason, just take it. Else live to regret.” So yes, I opted for an epidural or “happy-dural” as some might say.
Anaesthetist arrived by 6.45am. But before she jabbed me, she needed me to sign a consent form. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t even hold a pen. But since there was no next of kin with me, I used all my might to sign that document (without reading) and that energy came from my motivation to get that jab.
“I realised that epidural didn’t work for me”
Image courtesy: Samantha Whang
Then I waited silently (was in too much pain to even scream) in bed for the epidural to take effect while staring at the clock, counting down to pain-free moment. Instead, the pain escalated. I was in tears. I thought: “Isn’t epidural supposed to suppress the pain? How come everyone says epidural is a life saver but not for me? Or, maybe it’s just me? Am I a weirdo?”
When I realised that epidural didn’t work for me, I called for the nurse.
She was equally puzzled at my ‘in-pain’ state but decided to up my dosage thinking it may help. She would come in to check on me 10 mins later. But 3 mins in, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer.
I used (another) last breath to dry scream very loudly making sure the entire corridor could hear me.
“If I don’t make noise, no one is going to take me seriously,” I thought. My plan worked and three nurses rushed into my ward. I told them this epidural really wasn’t working, it’s not about the dosage. That’s when they called anaesthetist back!
Let’s not go into another long story about this anaesthetist, basically she misgauged and jabbed the wrong spot so I had to get another jab. Cut the story short, epidural worked this round. Thank god no immediate major side effects (for instance, fever or vomiting) even with two jabs.
I’ve heard so much about women suffering from side effects of epidural. In my case, only my legs were numb and I was shivering uncontrollably. But at this point, everything else was bearable especially after going through massive pain (which could have been avoided) for three hours.
At this point I was 8 cm dilated. That meant progress! Didn’t expect to dilate so fast since I’ve heard stories of women who do not dilate at all. So I was surprised and happy and said to myself: “Oh God! You answered my prayers.” I also thanked myself for being decisive and logical right from the start.
Image courtesy: Samantha Whang
Tips on quick labour?
No idea, I surprised myself too. No prenatal yoga or pilates classes, no swimming routines, I did nothing. Some women try doing so much but still end up in 20-30 hours of labour while others have babies simply slipping out of them easily.
Other more practical tips?
Go into labour with zero expectations. Don’t be fixated on wanting certain things or procedures. I love hearing other people’s birth stories but I don’t read up on what to expect because if things turn out different from my knowledge, at least I won’t panic. So don’t scare yourself.
It took a really long time for me to write this birth story because a part of me had to be at peace with why I ended up going through labour independently.
No one knows the pain I went through in silence; words can’t even describe. I’m truly proud of myself and this amazing miracle. I told myself I only have one job – go in there, get the baby out, safely. I did it.
Hope my story inspires someone out there. You’re not alone!
This article was written by VIP Parent Samantha Whang for theAsianparent.
