We hope you’re not reading this because you’re in a “situation”. But if you are thinking to yourself: Is he cheating? Then you should read this article to find out if he is cheating.
What’s the difference between flirting and cheating?
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My answer to that question is ‘not much’. But for the sake of argument, let’s say there is, so before we look at the differences, we need to define ‘flirting’.
Flirting is the act of making a specific connection with a person of the opposite sex by paying special attention to them. But…why would a married man (or woman) find it necessary to do that with someone other than their spouse?
We’ll cover that in a minute, but first…
When is it considered flirting?
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It’s one thing to be friendly-making people feel welcome and at ease. It’s also perfectly acceptable to compliment someone on how they look, a job well done or a specific talent they have or accomplishment. But it’s quite another to concentrate on someone in an alluring, teasingly sexual manner.
Flirting is:
- Maintaining eye contact with someone even when the rest of the room is focusing their attention elsewhere.
- Smiling suggestively
- Touching them on the back, hand, knee or shoulder
- Pressing your body against theirs
- Using your body language to show interest in that person
- Being more overt by slipping the person your phone number or message stating your interest in them
- Laughing at their jokes and hanging on their every word
- Making sexual innuendoes toward that person
When it goes beyond flirting, is he cheating?
If the person on the receiving end of the flirting has no interest in the attention being shown them, then they have a responsibility to shut it down and move on. Acknowledging the flirtatious behaviour of another is the same as flirting back.
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But once the acts of flirtation have started, the flirter and flirtee will find themselves (even if subconsciously) in a position of making a decision as to whether or not to act on the sexual tension that naturally comes from flirting. If they do, then obviously the flirting becomes more relational–whether the act of sexual intercourse takes place or not.
Why is your spouse flirting–is he cheating?
If your spouse is the type of person who normally likes to be the life of the party, he may be prone to being a bit on the flirtatious side. If it bothers you, or if you feel he’s stepped up his game, you need to say something. You need to let him (or her) know that it makes you uncomfortable and is hurtful. If their actions are truly innocent, this should take care of the situation.
If you notice that your once-attentive spouse has recently started paying extra attention to other people (or one specific someone), ask him/her why? His/her answer and demeanour when he/she answers will usually tell you what you need to know. How you deal with the answer you receive is up to you.
So… is there a difference?
Let’s go back to the original question…is there a difference between flirting and cheating? I guess it’s a matter of opinion, but I’ll ask you this…. What does flirting with someone other than your spouse say about your relationship?
