Introducing adult sex toys into your relationship

Introducing adult sex toys into your relationship

Adding that little zip in the bedroom with sex toys needn’t be embarrassing as a married couple! Here's how you can go about it.

The facts are simple, the maintenance of a fulfilling sex life is essential for the long term happiness of any couple. Old clichés such as “if it’s not happening in the bedroom, its not happening at all” couldn’t be more accurate.

An unfulfilling sex life will ultimately lead to frustration and tension between the couple that then frequently spirals out of control resulting in a total breakdown of the sexual relationship.

The worst case scenario is that either or both members of the relationship seek sexual gratification elsewhere. Far from ideal.

Adult sex toys offer a method by which a couple can enrich and enhance their sex lives without wandering outside of their existing relationship. By employing adult sex toys they not only enhance their own experience of sex but that of their partner resulting in a far happier relationship for both.

So what’s the correct approach?

Don't be shy, talk about it

Communication is essential in any relationship and when tackling the introduction of adult sex toys communication is particularly important.

First and foremost it’s essential that you first discuss yours and your partner’s boundaries. Couple using sex toys for the first time may feel intimidated. As such it’s advisable that your first experiences with adult sex toys should not involve items with names like “the Kong”!

Size does matter

Typically couples will wish to start will smaller adult toys that can give pleasure to both parties. Therefore when building up your confidence with sex toys we’d first suggest using smaller egg type vibrators that can be used for clitoral stimulation or alternatively vibrating penis rings.

Both varieties offer satisfaction to both parties without placing either party in a situation where they may feel intimidated and threatened.

Graduate to something more advanced

As yours and your partners confidence grows with your new sex toys you can start to explore your fantasies and express this with larger more advanced sex toys.

It’s all about breaking down those barriers; the idea is to gradually work yourself into a situation where you can use any sex toy that your mind desires without your partner feeling uncomfortable or inadequate.

Also, it’s essential to understand that sex toys are an accessory to sex when used in a relationship and not an alternative.

Be open

Whilst using your new adult sex toys the first few times keep the communication channels open, ask your partner if what you’re doing is working for them. Keep doing this until you are confident that the sex toy is being used to its full potential.

Couples that have never used vibrators can be overwhelmed by sensations that are new to them so you may have to avoid the most sensitive areas initially. In time however you’ll wonder how you ever coped without them!

The important thing to remember is that adult sex toys are designed to enhance your enjoyment of sex. They should be fun, something to be enjoyed with your partner.

The taboos that may have surrounded these toys historically have been broken down over the years with adult sex toys now available on the High Street. Boots have recently announced that they are considering stocking their stores with basic sex toys.

The fact is adult sex toys are here to stay, they continue to improve and including them in your bedroom activities will only bring positives to your relationship.


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Any views or opinions expressed in this article are personal and belong solely to the author; and do not represent those of theAsianparent or its clients.

Written by

Sandra Ong

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