10 important habits that the happiest couples have
Let's face it, relationships aren't easy, and most people who are in a happy relationship would tell you that it takes a lot of effort, understanding, and a lot of patience to get there.
Here are 10 important habits that the happiest couples have:
1. They kiss their spouse hello and goodbye
Dr. Samantha Rodman, psychologist and dating coach, shares the importance of kissing your spouse to say hello or goodbye:
"Far from being a meaningless habit, this ensures that you connect, even for just a moment, at least twice a day. Many people in unhappy relationships say that they can’t recall when they stopped kissing at greetings and goodbyes, it just slips away without effort. When you make the time to make eye contact with your partner and kiss them, it shows that you prioritise your relationship even during the busiest of mornings or evenings."
2. They give each other compliments
Giving sincere and simple compliments really means a lot. That's why you should never be shy to compliment your spouse not just for how they look, but also for the food they cooked, the good job they did at work today, or for just simply being a good parent to your children.
It makes your spouse feel that you're really proud of them and that you appreciate them.
3. They fight, but they don't go below the belt
It's normal for couples to fight, it's a part of all healthy relationships. But what really makes the difference is that when it comes to happy couples, they don't go below the belt. Insulting each other, or bringing up past problems isn't something that they do. Instead, they try their best to be constructive and sort things out amicably between each other without hurting each other physically or emotionally.
4. They focus on the positives instead of the negatives
Karl Carroll, a couples therapist, shares:
"This positive perspective, which is a trend among the happiest couples in decades of research by The Gottman Institute, is something that increases warmth, friendship and feeling generally liked by their partner. This does not mean that they let their standards for the relationship go out the window. But when these couples are met with perpetual problems, even then they find the humor in their differences and work to find temporary compromises that enable them to continue appreciating their partner for who they are."
5. They don't shy away from showing affection
Aaron Anderson, marriage and family therapist says:
"It’s sappy and it grosses out the kids, but it works. The happiest couples aren’t afraid to show affection to each other – even in public. So, go ahead and hold your spouse’s hand when you’re shopping in the mall or snuggle up to them when you’re at the movies with your friends. A little PDA can go a long way"
6. They tell their partner what they need
Happy couples make it a point to ask their partner what they need. It's not a guessing game wherein they have to guess how the other person is feeling. Simply expecting the other person to know exactly what you feel is a sure recipe for disaster.
Constant communication and being open with each other is a very important habit that happy couples have.
7. They reconnect
"They understand that in long-term relationships, affection and sex don’t just happen, couples need to have a commitment to cultivating connection instead of hoping it just happens. For example, at the beginning of a relationship, most couples can’t keep their hands off each other. Later on in a relationship, they can’t seem to keep their hands off their phones or computers. Couples who commit to prioritising time to be together, to show affection and to keep learning and growing around sex, are definitely the happiest", says Celeste Hirschman, sex and relationship coach.
8. They laugh, a lot
Dr. Samantha Rodman shares, "It’s easy for a relationship to deteriorate into just talking about logistics, saving your funny anecdotes for your best friend or coworker. This is a mistake. When couples get out of the habit of laughing together, their relationship is at risk of losing its joy and spirit."
9. Money is something they take the time to talk about
Kurt Smith, from guystuffcounseling.com, says:
"Fighting over money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Unfortunately, most couples avoid talking about money until they have money problems so big they can no longer be ignored. Forcing yourselves to talk about money before there is a big problem is one of the smartest things you can do to ensure your marriage will be happy and long-lasting."
10. They give their partner the benefit of the doubt
"When people are struggling in relationships it’s not unusual to feel that your partner is on a completely different team that you. Remember that you are on the same team and that you both care about one another. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt is a great strength in a happy relationship." Says Dr. Marie Land, psychologist.
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