How kids control parents with their behaviour
Kids can melt you with their toothless smile, sloppy kisses and tight hugs. They are absolute sweethearts. Unfortunately, kids are the total masters of manipulation too.
Forget about innocence. Kids know how to manipulate their parents and use their behaviour to get what they want. This may be called as simple temper tantrums by some but oftentimes, it could be worse than that. And when they are little monsters, they are greatly feared by their parents.
What is the reason children control their parents through their behaviour?
Kids act up to get what their own way and for the parents to give them what they want. Like on some power trip, children use their looks, their illness or their safety to manipulate their parents.
Like most things, manipulation by behaviour comes across two ways – the good and bad. In the good scenario, a child could complete all his household chores or present his parents a perfectly scored exam so that they won’t have any reason to not allow him to go to a friend’s party or sleepover. This kind of behaviour manipulation is deemed as okay and harmless.
In a bad scenario, the child could shout and lie down on the floor in a supermarket just so his parents would buy him the big box of unhealthy cereal that he wants. Worse, the child could intentionally hurt himself just so he could stay up and watch some cartoons or get the new toy that he wants.
Behavior manipulation will only be a bad thing if the child always threatens his parents verbally, hurts himself or throws any kind of it.
How does a parent gain control over a child who does this?
Parents often give in to their child’s manipulation because they don’t want to prolong the scene that their child would create especially when in public. At home, they immediately admit defeat to avoid anymore damages to their home or because they fear for the safety of their child.
In order to stop bad behaviour manipulation, parents must learn not to be afraid to pull in the reins to control their child. This is because each time they give in, the child would just look for more ways to further control his parents year after year.
If your child is screaming and crying, be calm and tell him that you would not talk to him until he has calmed down. When in public, do not mind other people and try out best to control the situation. Tell him that you’ll just be watching him from afar as he lies down on the floor kicking and screaming. If he attempts to destroy some of the things in the mall, ask help from a security guard in the area. Being reprimanded by someone in uniform would certainly stop him if you can’t.
Don’t be shy–ask for help
In case, you really cannot control your child’s behaviour. Ask help from a behavioural expert. These professionals could give you tips on how to handle your child and they could also offer therapy to your child to make him more amicable. Importantly, do not give up on your child. He needs your guidance now more than ever.
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