9 ways to manage your anger towards your child

You came home from a long day at work, and walked through the front door, only to be welcomed by drawings on the white walls and sticky spills on the floor. Read on for tips on how not to lose it!

Use writing as an outlet

Use writing as an emotion outlet. It's healthy to pour your feelings into a diary or journal. I personally find it re-directs the anger away from the kids.

Never act in the heat of the moment

Whether verbally or physically, endeavour to not react when you're fuming. More often than not, you will regret what you had done or said.

Leave the room for a few minutes to calm down. Go have a cool drink, a toilet break or something. And once you're no longer seeing red, you'd be able to discipline your child with a clear head.

Think of the example you are setting

If you yell or spank them, then you're telling them it's acceptable to behave like that! The reaction could be immediate– they yell back at you when they've been told off.

Worst, in their adult life, they turn to physically disciplining their kids. It's a vicious cycle.

No threats

Threats will only work if you follow through with them. Otherwise, you get undermined. And as most threats are made in the heat of the moment, they're usually unreasonable, so it's best to stay away from "If you don't clean your room, I'll..." statements.

No physical force

If the angry build-up is too great, leave the room. A small spank could escalate to something violent. Regardless of the seriousness of the misbehaviour, the use of physical force is a NO. If you let yourself reach the limit where you'd inflict physical pain on your child, then you have rethink and set a limit.

Voice out to your kids when they're starting to annoy you, instead of trying to tolerate it. 'Cause you know what'll happen? You end up lashing out. According to experts, if it did happen, the next step is to apologise to the child. You may have to consider therapy for your anger issue.

pick your battles.

You don't have to be a parent about everything. Compromise on the lesser issues as sometimes it's not worth having an argument over. And if you throw your parent card around less often, your reasoning would carry more weight.

Look for effective ways to discipline

From personal experience, kids listen better when they're NOT being yelled at. And punishments are more often than not counter-productive.

Therefore try other ways of dealing with the issue. Try praising them when they have been good and see if they respond positively.

Monitor your tone and word choice.

I reckon the message gets through to them better when words such as 'please' and 'would you mind', in a non-condescending tone, are used.

Counselling and support

If all else fail, and you still can't control or diffuse your anger, seek professional help. Talking to a counsellor or another adult about it could bring to light the underlying issue, or alleviate the stress.