A heartfelt plea to dads: Here's why you shouldn't let your wife take that selfie

Because her hands are not always empty and her mind not always free.

A recent article caught my eye about the sad reason why mums often take selfies of themselves and their kids.

In it, the author talks about a friend whose mother passed away. This friend was looking for photographs of himself and his mother, but he could not find any, except for one really old picture of himself as a toddler with her.

Just one photo during her lifetime as his mother.

These days, we have smartphones equipped with cameras and for many mums, taking selfies with their little ones is the only way they’ll ever get a picture of themselves with their children. So, they document their lives as mothers by themselves because technology lets them do this and others don’t have the time to snap these precious moments for them.

But it shouldn’t always be this way. As your wife’s soul mate, her significant other, this plea is for you.

So.

Dear dads,

Please don’t misunderstand me – you are a much-contributing partner in this beautiful and sometimes tiring dance of parenthood along with your wife, and I truly acknowledge this.

But let’s be honest. Your wife contributes a significant amount of her time, effort and love to raising and nurturing your beautiful children. I know, and you know she wouldn’t have it any other way. At the same time, being a mum sometimes can feel like a thankless job.

Let me tell you something, though. Even though there are days your wife seems to have had enough of it all, she repents the moment she sees your children innocently asleep, or when they say the most genuine ‘sorry’ in the world to her.

Snap this moment for her and capture the softness in her face and the tenderness in her eyes as she melts. She can’t take a selfie because her hands are gently stroking the hair and face of your child.

When the kids are finally in bed and she’s done for the day, exhausted, curled up on the sofa and sipping a hot cup of tea, take her picture. She can’t take a selfie because her hands are wrapped around the warmth of her cup.

Your child’s first day of preschool has come and you take picture after picture of your little one in her oversized uniform, looking like a big girl but still such a baby.

Don’t forget to take a picture of your wife too to forge memories of this landmark day. Snap that moment of pure pride on her face that shines through the sadness and add it to the vignette of motherhood memories being created.

She can’t take a selfie because her hands are busy wiping away her tears of joy and sadness at your baby girl’s first steps into the ‘real world.’

Don’t hesitate to photograph your wife because her hair is messy, her face is bare and she is still in her PJs. She might brush you away when you take out your phone or camera, but take that candid snap anyway.

She won’t take a selfie because she thinks she doesn’t look beautiful and only tired. But you know better than this. You see her beauty, right? Capture that moment. And one day, when the kids have left the nest and you are older, wiser, she’ll wonder at her beauty too as she revisits the moment.

Mothers are an integral part of their children’s life, but too often, their moments of motherhood are only captured as thoughts and memories that might fade, and her constant presence is rendered invisible by Time.

Help preserve these memories – the good and the not-so-good. Snap that picture and make the memory of her Motherhood moments immortal.

Because she can’t always take that selfie.

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Written by

Nalika Unantenne

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