From a bachelor: When other men look at your wife, here's what they see

I’m a bachelor and in my years of Friday night beers with my married mates, I’ve noticed this. Some of you look at your wife as a domestic goddess, and some of you look at your wife as a domestic disaster. But it’s time you had a heads up about what it’s like when other men look at your wife. 

Your wife is so much more than the woman who fixes your dinner, picks up the dirty laundry, bears children and runs the home. Domestic life might be most of her, but it doesn’t define her altogether. 

I often hear you complaining about your wife’s nagging, or bragging about the gastronomic delights that she whipped up. I hear of how she reads to your kids and how she can’t walk out of the supermarket without a huge stash of unnecessary grocery. Maybe that’s how you see her. Maybe that’s all that you see. 

But when other men look at your wife, they see something very different. 

They see a confident, independent co-worker walking into the meeting room all ready to roll out her ideas and get things moving. They look at her and wonder how she manages to have so much of energy after a night of nursing her baby.

When other men look at your wife, they wonder how she manages to look so amazing in that blazer, pencil skirt and stiletto heels. Clearly having kids never stopped her from looking elegant and sexy.

I’m sure you still find your wife attractive. I’m sure you still think your wife is the most beautiful woman in this planet. I sure hope you do. 

I hope you remember all the little things that first made you fall for your wife.

When other men look at your wife, they see the way her eyes light up as she excitedly talks about her favourite television show that she was up watching the previous night. They appreciate her jokes and wittiness. They see that little bit of girlish charm that still lingers in her, years after she became a woman. 

But I’m not sure if you still remember all the bits of her that you fell in love with to begin with. I’m not sure you remember her charm and appeal that lured you to her like a moth to a fly. I’m not sure you even notice her all that much anymore. 

I once told a female friend that I knew she was approaching, simply by recognising the rhythm of her steps and the fragrance of her perfume from afar. I complimented her new dress and noticed that she had cut her hair. She laughed.

Her laughter couldn’t mask the yearning in her eyes when she said, I wish my husband would notice too!

I’m not married and I may not be in the best position to comment but it leaves me bewildered why anyone would stop noticing such things about their wife. Maybe I’m commitment phobic or maybe I never found the one to settle down with but if I had a wife, I’d never stop noticing every bit of her. 

I would notice the way my wife props her legs up on the couch and rests her face on her knees as she watches Netflix. I would notice that tiny tear forming at the corner of her eye as she reads her favourite romance novel.

I would notice how she laughs like there’s no tomorrow and I would notice how she buries her head in my chest and cries her heart out. I would notice when her tummy hurts and she needs a hot cup of tea and when it’s that time of the month and nothing but chocolate ice-cream would lift her spirits.

I’d notice when her tummy hurts and I’d do everything I can to make her feel better.

I would notice when she stands in front of the mirror and smiles at her reflection and feels good about herself. I would remind her how wonderful she looks and how she sweeps me off my feet. I would also notice the days when she frowns at her reflection and feels fat and insecure. I would hug her from behind and reassure her that she’s my queen. 

I would notice every aspect of my wife because I think I owe it to her. I think she deserves to feel beautiful and appreciated, every single day. 

And I just wish to remind all the lucky men out there, that you are incredibly blessed to have the company of your sweet wife. While it’s normal and expected that you would view her as the domestic director of your household, don’t forget to look at her as an individual, away from familial commitments.

When other men look at your wife, they think of you as a lucky man to have her for all that she is. And the most beautiful part of all of this is that in spite of all the compliments that the world might offer her, nothing validates her and makes her feel happier than hearing it from you.