Why couples fight: Real women weigh in on the 3 most common reasons

Arguing is normal in any relationship. It can even be healthy when done right, if partners work through an issue and communicate effectively. Do you notice you and your partner fighting over the same things over and over again? One theAsianparent Community user asked the community about most common things couples fight about.

1. Money

This is a big issue, especially for single-income families. She might want to enroll the children in an expensive school, while he doesn’t see the need; he might think she spends too much on groceries; she might even resent him for not earning enough.

Couples can avoid these blow-ups by talking to each other about money, and not waiting until the bills come before they confront their financial issues. Setting a budget together and making compromises is key.

2. Housework

This is a bigger issue for households where both parents are working, but even stay-at-home moms who are already overwhelmed by raising the children and keeping the house together may argue with their spouses when they don’t feel supported. This becomes an even bigger and persistent issue when your standards of cleanliness differ. One may be happy with a little bit of a mess, while the other can’t tolerate not having things in their proper places. 

Delegating chores in the house can fix this. For example, agree that you do the cleaning while he does the cooking. Or you take care of the laundry if he takes out the trash every day. That way, your expectations are set, leaving very little to argue over.

3. Family

Some couples argue over the way they discipline their kids. Others argue because of their in-laws. This is normal—you are two different people with distinct outlooks, so you’re bound to have some conflict.

Whatever happens, do your best to present a united front when it comes to your kids and family. In private, discuss and resolve your issues so you can continue being supportive of each other when dealing with your family.