Mother Can't Believe Her Husband Didn't Put Their 3-year-old in a Car Seat!

Mother Can't Believe Her Husband Didn't Put Their 3-year-old in a Car Seat!

She assumed he would move their car seat when he uses a different car.

Car seat safety isn’t just something experts preach for the heck of it. It saves lives — and knowing how to use a car seat correctly can make all the difference in an accident. In fact, that’s part of why the American Academy of Pediatrics changed its recommendations in 2018, urging parents to keep kids in rear-facing seats for “as long as possible” for maximum safety. So imagine the surprise of one mom, who recently discovered her husband doesn’t always put their 3-year-old in a car seat if he forgets to bring it with him for day care pick-up.

Apparently, on days where Dad’s forgotten the car seat, he’s buckled their toddler in “as if he were an adult” instead.

carrying baby without car seat

Image source: CafeMom

In a furious letter to Slate’s Care and Feeding advice column, the mom explained that her husband “owns multiple cars and often rotates which he drives to work.” But he only has one car seat, which is why he’s sometimes forgotten to bring it along.

When mom found out, she was “livid” and didn’t hold back. 

“[I] told him I felt like this was dangerous and really irresponsible,” she shared.

Her husband attempted to defend himself, but the mom was not buying his *reasons*.

“My husband responded by getting upset, then reminding me that the day care is close to our house,” she wrote, “and that he was able to take a route home from the day care through a neighborhood (so no streets with a speed limit greater than 25), and that he made sure to drive slowly and pay attention to what was going on around him.”

But no amount of excuses could convince this mama that simply ditching the car seat was OK.

“I told him he had to either change the car seat over or come home and get the car that had a car seat in it to get our son, or I would start picking our son up,” she said. 

But here’s the problem: Now the mom feels like she can’t trust him — even after promising that he would never drive without a car seat again.

“He said he would start making sure he had a car seat, but when he discussed picking up a car he’s had in the shop, I had to make him agree he would stop by the house to get a car seat,” she continued. (And it came with “an eye-roll, sigh, and eventual ‘yes’ as a response.”)

Now, the mom says she’s consumed with worry — but also wondering if she’s overreacting.

“I can’t stop thinking about what would happen if they did get into an accident (even at a low speed) or if my husband happened to get pulled over while our son was improperly restrained,” she explained.

People were pretty unanimous that her husband was being ridiculous here.

carrying baby without car seat

Image source: iStock

… and they did NOT hold back. 

“Your husband is a lazy idiot,” wrote one commenter. “If he can afford more than one car and the insurance to cover them, he can afford an additional child safety seat or two or however many vehicles he drives. What a colossal jerk.”


Another person said they hoped the letter writer would be showing her husband the comments people were leaving (before throwing in a few jabs about him being an “idiot!”)

“OMFG,” another person said. “My husband would be cowering in fear of me ever, ever, EVER finding out he did such a thing again. Wow, I’m so angry for you. I have never lost my ish on my husband, but such a careless attitude about our children’s safety would bring out my inner rage like nothing else. “


Columnist Rumaan Alam agreed — if anything, Mom was under-reacting to her husband’s behavior.

carrying baby without car seat

Image source: CafeMom

In his response, Alam pointed out that while he understands it’s a pain to move car seats, the proof is far beyond anecdotal. 

“I personally am acquainted with a family that lost three of their four children in a car accident,” he wrote. “If your husband feels some deep need to own 99 cars, then maybe he should think about buying 99 car seats and calling it a day.”

And while he didn’t come right out and call the guy an idiot (like half the commenters did), he didn’t exactly mince words. 

“Him treating you like a nag, or shifting all the child chauffeuring onto you, is him being a jerk; him willing to risk the fines or, worse yet, his son’s safety, is him being wholly irresponsible,” Alam wrote.

Hopefully, this experience has knocked some sense into the dad so that he never makes that mistake again. Still, it’s kind of alarming to know that it ever did.


This article was first published on CafeMom and was republished on theAsianparent with their permission.

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