We don’t need to sugarcoat it. Being a working mom in Singapore can feel like being in a never-ending survival game.
Between chasing deadlines, remembering to pack a kid’s water bottle, dealing with “mum guilt,” and trying to squeeze in a half-decent shower, balance seems more like a mythical unicorn than something real.
But guess what? You’re not alone in the juggle. Counsellor and fellow working mom Lilian Ong from Wellness Journey Pte Ltd gets it. Because she’s living it too.
And she’s not just here to relate. She’s had an empowering Q&A session that dives deep into real strategies, not Pinterest-perfect solutions.
Summing it all up, here’s a parent-to-parent unpacking of what she has to say about staying afloat as a working mom, without losing yourself in the chaos.
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What Does It Really Mean to ‘Involve Your Kids’ in Your Work-Life Balance?
Lilian doesn’t sugarcoat things. “When we think about work-life balance,” she says, “the intention is to have our needs met on both sides.” That means pursuing meaningful work that brings in income without completely sacrificing your family or personal time.
But what about the idea of involving your kids in the journey?
Lilian says a simple way to start involving kids in your day-to-day is by casually bringing them up during lunch chats with your colleagues. You know, swapping stories about weekend outings or how you handle those toddler meltdowns. It’s an easy way to bond with coworkers who are also in the parenting trenches.
Source: iStock
And that little sense of “we’re in this together” can really ease that tug-of-war feeling between work and home.
Energy Management: The Survival Skill Every Working Mom Needs
Forget time management. Lilian says it’s your energy that really needs budgeting.
“We only have 24 hours a day that cannot be extended, and our energy needs to be replenished every day just like recharging our phones. So don’t get into the cycle of trying to squeeze in more things to do in a day, that would not work.”
Her golden rule? Don’t try to squeeze more in. Instead, prioritise:
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Important + Urgent: Do it now
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Important but Not Urgent: Schedule it
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Not Important but Urgent: Delegate
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Not Important + Not Urgent: Delete it
Sounds simple, but try it for a week, you’ll feel the shift.
Is Singapore’s Work Culture Helping or Hurting Working Moms?
According to Lilian, “It really depends on the company culture and the people you work with.”
But then there’s the other end of the spectrum… the kind that makes you feel like you’ve committed a crime for packing up at 6 pm. That weird guilt when you’re walking out of the office and everyone else is still glued to their screens? Been there. That subtle side-eye when you mention childcare leave for the third time in a month? Yep.
Source: Mashable SEA
But at the end of the day, what most of us want is just a bit of understanding. A little flexibility. A workplace where you don’t have to choose between being a present mom and a capable employee. Is that too much to ask?
That Gnawing Feeling Called Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is real, and Lilian sees it all the time. “Mom guilt comes from not meeting societal expectations, family expectations and our own expectations.”
Lilian advises ignoring societal expectations, reminding us that “they’re not the ones living your life.” She suggests being clear and consistent about what you need for family expectations, emphasizing that “less time doesn’t mean less love.” When it comes to self-expectations, she points out that “there’s no one right way to be a mom” and that if pursuing your career fuels your joy, that’s your version of balance and your kids benefit when you’re happier.
‘Me Time’ Isn’t a Luxury. It’s a Necessity.
One of Lilian’s biggest tips for any working mom? Stop waiting for a window of time to magically appear. “[You] have to schedule me-time, don’t wait for a chance because it will never come.”
Sit down with your partner. Not in passing while juggling dinner and bedtime routines, but for real. Carve out 10, 15 minutes, maybe after the kids are finally down and the house is quiet. Talk through the week ahead. Who’s picking up who, what meals need prepping, which birthday parties are coming up.
It might not sound romantic, but honestly? This kind of planning is love in action.
Source: iStock
And then—yes, really—schedule in time for yourself. Not just a rushed shower or scrolling through Instagram while folding laundry, but an actual pocket of time where you’re not needed by anyone. Take that hour to read a chapter of a book that’s been gathering dust. Or nap without guilt. Or finally binge that cheesy K-drama you’ve been putting off because you “should be productive.”
Or better yet. Do absolutely nothing. Just sit. Breathe. Stare at the ceiling.
Mom brain is real. And running on fumes, day after day, doesn’t win anyone a medal. That tiny slice of alone time? It’s not indulgent. It’s survival. Your mental clarity, your patience, your ability to laugh instead of snap when the milk spills again. It all hinges on these small resets.
You’re not just doing it for you. You’re doing it so you can show up for everyone else in your life without losing you in the process.
What To Do When It All Feels Like Too Much
“It is a real challenge to juggle career and motherhood. The exact sources of stress may not be the same for everyone.”
But she believes there are ways to stay afloat:
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Lower your expectations. Sometimes, surviving is the win.
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One task at a time. Don’t spiral into overwhelm.
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Build a support network. Know who you can lean on and for what.
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Delegate and let go. “Close one eye, or both. It’s okay. They’ll figure it out.”
Positive Mindset = Alignment With Your Values
If you’ve been wondering how to stay upbeat despite the chaos, Lilian says it’s about living in alignment. “Notice your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Make small shifts that reflect your true values.”
This isn’t about chasing perfection. “It’s about growth and fulfillment, not status.”
Limited Time? Here’s How To Stay Close With Your Kids
Lilian’s advice is spot on: be fully present with your kids by putting your phone away when you’re with them. Offer plenty of affirmations and attention because kids need to feel seen and heard. Always connect before you correct. Building trust first makes your guidance more effective.
And remember, quality matters more than quantity; even just a 10-minute bedtime chat can make a big difference in their day.
Personal Growth for the Busy Working Mom
Have you ever taken a moment to reflect on your own life, beyond just your kid’s school schedule?
Lilian suggests that parents take half or a full day off once or twice a month. The idea is to send your child to childcare as usual and then use the time to rest, read, sleep, or take a walk—whatever helps you recharge. It’s essentially your personal reset button.
Signs Your Work-Life Balance Is Off the Rails
Working moms are often the last to notice they’re burning out. According to Lilian, red flags include:
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Your family’s saying they barely see you
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You’re constantly apologising for missing events
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You feel like you’ve lost your identity outside of work
If any of these hit close to home, it’s time to recalibrate.
Handling Work Emergencies Without Losing It
Lilian doesn’t hold back here: not all work “emergencies” are true emergencies. She suggests asking yourself whether something is urgent because it’s genuinely important or just because someone else is panicking. Setting boundaries and communicating clearly are key.
After all, you’re not on call 24/7.
Childcare Support: The Art of Trial and Error
Finding the right childcare setup is no small feat.
Source: iStock
“Ask people you know for recommendations, search online and check reviews. Do this together with your partner so you can also discuss and understand each other’s expectations and needs,” Lilian advises. “Shortlist a few options and be open to trial and error because it may take time to find an arrangement that works well for your family’s needs”
This journey isn’t linear, but it’s worth it.
So, Working Mom… What’s Your Kind of Balance?
Lilian’s biggest takeaway? There’s no one-size-fits-all version of balance. What works for your best friend might not work for you. And that’s okay.
Whether you’re thriving at work, surviving at home, or somewhere in between, remember that this life is yours to shape.
And if you’re feeling the weight of it all, you’re not alone.
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