To get away from the domestic abuse at home, Cara Brookins, a mum of four from Arkansas decided to start a new life. However, she needed a place to call it her home. And guess what, she built one with her kids just by watching Youtube tutorials!
After being in an abusive relationship for years, she felt a need to break free. In such a home, everyone is affected. By the time they left, Cara and her four children were broken, and needed to do something together, something big. And the opportunity came in the guise of an adversity.
Cara needed a home big enough for her family. But her finances did not allow her to do so. So she managed to purchase a land and the equipment needed to build a house. Juggling a day job, she would head out to the construction site with her kids.
The family toiled for nine months, and the 3500 sq. ft house was completed, thanks to the hard work put in by each and every member of the family. In a Skype interview to a publishing house, Cara confessed that this was a healing process for them. They had become defensive, and they just needed to talk. And talk they did on the construction site, and plenty of it!
With no guidance from professionals, the family saw tutorials on Youtube. And they proceeded to build this house! Is that not just amazing? Cara later wrote a book on the whole process, encouraging the world to take a big leap.
Stress and strain in a relationship
There might not be any abuse in a relationship. However, relationship, children and responsibility puts a certain pressure on a couple. There is a varying degree of friction in each relationship, and a few end up being damaged beyond repair.
These things affect children. However, there are a few things each couple can do to ensure a safe nurturing ground for the children to thrive.
- Communication is the key. If you find crossing swords with your partner often, sit down and analyse what causes it. If both of you don a hat of rationality for the discussion, the problems could be found and possibly addressed. However, you have to communicate with each other. If you find a direct confrontation difficult, work towards it. Meanwhile, try writing it down and reading in front of your partner. It helps you to say things you may not say otherwise.
- Team work is wonderful! There might not be a great deal of friction in the family, just small skirmishes here and there. Go out and participate in a team event. It is the best place to understand how well you know your family (you will be surprised) and what their strengths and weaknesses are. If nothing, it is a fun exercise at the very least!
- Repair. If you are in a broken relationship, repair it, do not just mend it temporarily. Everyone is entitled to happiness. If you cannot work it out, repair relationships by separating. I know, it sounds odd. However, you will repair the individual relationships with your kids by severing the relationship between the two of you.
Yes, the child needs both of you to grow up. However, he needs a peaceful environment and a positive influence even more! So work on your relationships and transform your house into a home, just like Cara.
Also read: Talking to kids about your divorce: Some hard truths
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