Giving birth seems like the most exciting thing in the world, and just when you think the excitement is over, there comes the whole new joy of parenthood.
Sure, you may think that you’ve prepped yourself well for this, considering that you’ve read every baby book on the shelves of MPH, and created a treasure trove of tips and tricks from your mummy friends, but ask yourself this: Are you really prepared for something that is absolutely life changing?
Couples new to parenthood are sure to come face-to-face with messy situations, and being warned about them so you’re not caught off-guard (and feel normal) is crucial.
So here’s our top list for to parents-to-be:
#1 Deciding if your newborn should sleep with you in the ward or in the nursery
Your baby was just born just a couple of hours ago, and you’d like to get some rest but at the same time, you want to be with your new baby. To completely knock off or spend time bonding with him? Decisions, decisions.
#2 When your shirt has been stained by your breastmilk
The first time this happens can be a total embarrassment. You put your child to bed after he’s been fed, and you realise that your breastmilk has left two dots on your shirt, right where your nipples are! Trying to cover them up with your hands just looks as though you’re grabbing your boobs… which makes it.. um… twice as awkward.
#3 When your child poops on you
Yes – we’ve heard horror stories of babies doing their number 2 on their parents during a diaper change. You’ve mentally prepared yourself, but you’re never as ready as you think you are… until the day comes when that tiny little butt oozes out colour-changing poop!
#4 Crying at a restaurant
It’s your first time out with your new baby, he’s fast asleep in the car or in the MRT, and you look at your partner and smile. “Looks like we’re getting the hang of this parenting thing,” you say. You’re halfway into your meal when he wakes up and starts to wail. GAH!
Picking him up and patting him only makes him cry more. In a desperate attempt to soothe him, you try to place the pacifier into his mouth or feed him but he just won’t stop. You pick him up and leave the restaurant to avoid the glares of others, only to change your mind about this whole “getting the hang of it” thing.
#5 Cutting your baby’s fingernails
Seeing your baby leave tiny scratch marks on his face means it’s time to swing out the nail clippers. This can be a scary new experience for first-time parents because there’s always the fear of accidentally clipping into your baby’s flesh. Do I cut his nails while he’s asleep? What if he wakes up? THIS IS HARD!
#6 Seeing your child roll over
Seeing your child roll over can be a very exciting feeling, but it can make you very anxious as well. Wanting to see him do it, and actually seeing him do it are two very different things. Awkward is when you’ve been watching him for 3 hours, hoping he’d do the flip, but you walk away for a quick toilet getaway, only to return to see him in a different position. Nooooooooooo!
#7 Using a breast pump
We all suck at it when we first start out. You may turn the strength a little too high and feel as though your nipples are being sucked into oblivion, or too low and feel as though you’ve accidentally broke the machine. You may feel like a cow being milked, and may spill milk all over yourself. UGH!
#8 When your baby “merlions”
Merlion – a term used to describe how vomit comes out from a person. Like the merlion, the puke shoots out and projectiles liquid everywhere. You never know when to expect it, you could be carrying her while laying down and she could be mid-laughter, only to ruin the ‘pretty picture’ by projecting vomit all over your face. Welcome to motherhood, honey!
#9 Excessive diarrhoea
Crap happens. Sometimes while he’s asleep, sometimes while YOU’RE asleep. And on repeat!
#10 Breastfeeding
Nursing doesn’t come naturally. It takes a lot of practice to ensure that it’s comfortable for both you and your baby so that the bonding experience would not be a frustrating one. It could get weird at times when you’re desperately trying to find a place to breastfeed outdoors, but there isn’t a nursing room in sight and you’ve to consider placing a blanket over your child’s head.
#11 Dealing with two sets of parents
Yes, you heard me right. When you’ve just given birth, everyone suddenly becomes an expert in babies. Your parents could have a set of advice they’d want you to follow, and your in-laws will probably have a separate set of advice they’d want you to follow. GOOD LUCK!
#12 Being mistaken for being pregnant, again
Your tummy won’t fully ‘deflate’ after giving birth. It’s bound to look a little round, and you may find yourself blushing and shaking your head in a desperate attempt to stop the guy on the bus from giving up his seat to you.
Have you mummies faced any of these awkward situations? Share with us below!
