Hearing your baby talk for the first time could possibly be one of the most exciting things to ever happen in your entire life.
That moment when “Goo goo gaa gaa” turn to “mama” and “dada” is possibly the closest thing to magic you could ask for in this plane of existence. It is also very exciting and very cute when they start forming words into semi-comprehensive sentences.
But you know what’s not very cute?
It is not very cute when the kiddies can speak in proper sentences…but completely lack the proper filtration that polite society requires.We scoured the net and asked our readers on theAsianparent.com Facebook page and came up with this super hilarious list of when talking kids, go wrong.
Regional funniest things kids say
1. “Pulling my shirt and said”breast”in Malay inside a train FULL of humans!” — Siti Sandora
2. “Was at Ion Orchard toilet [when] my son said ‘Mummy, you poo poo!’ And when I was flushing he said ‘Ohhhh BIG poo poo!’ [sic] so loud that I can confirm everyone can hear.” — Anabelle Ang
3. “My hubby and son were doing their small business in one of the gents in Plaza Singapura. Then my son asked his dad ‘Daddy, why your penis is so long and hairy?’ The students who are also inside the gents started bursting with laughter, leaving my hubby red like lobster.” — Madelene Cassandra Tan
4. “We were in a lift with an uncle who was doing something to his feet so he wasn’t standing straight. My girl exclaimed; ‘This uncle dunno how to stand properly!’” — Wen Hui
5. “Brought my gal to the toilet. She asked, ‘Mummy, you got hair?’” — Amanda Ong Ai Ling
6. “When my son saw a bald head man and start calling him ‘ Botak head ! Botak head!’” — Susan Ng Lay Peng
All quotes taken from theAsianparent.com Facebook fanpage.
Let’s go international
1. “[My son] asked where my wienie was as I got out of the shower one day. I said, ‘Well, Mommies have a different kind of wienie than Daddies.’ So we get to the store later that day and he informs the cashier, ‘My Mommy has a different kind of wienie. Awesome.’”– Tiffini
2. “Just a few weeks ago, my son was in the bath and declared, ‘I just have a kid-sized penis because I’m a kid. Not Daddy, though. He’s a grownup, so he has a big penis. Daddy, your penis is THIS big’ [said while holding his hands quite a wide distance apart]. My husband, however, told him, ‘Now THAT you’re allowed to repeat anywhere and everywhere you want.’” — Dorothy
3. “My 4-year-old son felt the need to warn “old” people they will die … he told a lady in the grocery, ‘Old people die … and you don’t look so good’” — Edna
4. “My 6-year-old grabbed our Rabbi’s butt and said; ‘Squishy, squishy.’” — Vicki
5. “Walking by the wine section of Whole Foods: ‘Mommy! Look at all this mommy juice! Look! Mommy juice everywhere!’ I got more than a few snickers.” — Emily
6. “When I quit smoking, my 5-year-old at the time (she’s 23 now) told her kindergarten teacher that she was so proud of me because I quit drugs.” — Erin
All quotes taken from thestir.cafemom.com.
We hope you have enjoyed this list as much as we did and do write in our comment section on which is your favourite quote…or maybe, you have a better one yourself?
Also read: Kids say the most brutally honest things