Whether the marriage is of one’s choice or one that is arranged, love is the glue that holds the relationship together. When one is loved, one feels understood, supported and secured.
Figures from the Department of Statistics Singapore show that divorces and annulments are on the rise. Couples who have vowed to be together through thick and thin, through illness and health are separating. The top reason for separation is infidelity.
To safeguard my own marriage, I did a little research and here are 5 reasons that create temptations and opportunities for the spouses to stray:
1. Absence of communication
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Some couples just can’t communicate with each other. And when they do talk, they usually end up arguing and fighting. When this happens, one or both partners are tempted to look for a third party who will listen to and understand him or her.
Friendships with the opposite sex can be formed. But, there is a danger when the friendship becomes exclusive and turns out to be an extra-marital relationship.
2. Absence of emotional intimacy
When spouses allow their conflicts to get in between them and they no longer talk, the emotional connection disappears. Over time, they become strangers and avoid being together.
This creates a situation where it becomes easier for third parties to enter the picture. Temptation abounds when the spouse is emotionally and sexually attached to another person other than his or her partner.
3. Absence of appreciation or affection
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Every individual needs affection and appreciation. This is why when married individuals feel that their partners do not appreciate them or show affection, they become unhappy and miserable. So when they find another person who is appreciative and affectionate, they are easily tempted into having an affair.
4. Unsatisfied sexual needs
There are instances when the husband or wife has a higher sexual drive than his or her partner. If this sexual need is not met and they do not talk it out between them nor find a solution, the unsatisfied partner might venture into finding sexual satisfaction outside the marriage bed. This will most likely happen to those who feel they are unloved and unappreciated by their partners sexually.
5. Physical attraction towards others
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It is undeniable that a married individual can become physically attracted to another person other than his or her spouse.
However, a problem will arise when he or she allows such attraction to linger in the mind and acts out the fantasy to reality. It becomes more irresistible when he or she willingly exposes him/herself to the temptation and are unable to control the emotions or hormones. Based on these reasons, one can say that the partners either have lost their love or they have loved their partners less than they had before. So, what should married couples do to prevent such situation and prevent one’s self from being tempted?
We can’t prevent temptation but we can overcome it. And the antidote to temptation is – LOVE. You have to love your partner. Love him or her as he or she is, not for what he or she has or can be. Love him or her despite his or her flaws, imperfections and idiosyncrasies.
So, how do you prevent your spouse from going astray with love? Express your love. Do it with simple things such as giving love messages, giving appreciation for the simple things he or she does. Be affectionate. Hug him or her. Hold him or her tight. Kiss him or her. Forgive his or her small mistakes. Overlook his or her imperfections.
It takes a lot of will power to love the person who has imperfections but if you do, then that’s when you truly love. If you don’t want to be tempted and break your marriage, then love your partner. Do it, for your partner, for yourself and for the sake of your children. As they say, if there’s a will, there’s a way.
Infidelity can cause great damage not only to you or your spouse but also to your children and to your family as a whole. If you both love each other, you or your spouse will not come near tempting situations and you will resist temptation.
What would you do if your husband cheated on you? Tell us in the comment box below and take part in the poll.