“Mum, can I eat now? You told me not to eat until the guests left, because we’ll run out of food,” says your child in front of a room filled with guests. They begin to look at you, and you can’t help but slouch lower and lower in your seat with a red face.
We’ve all dealt with some sort of first-hand embarrassment at some point in time when it comes to our children saying the ‘darndest’ things. However, let’s not write off the idea that mums can be equally embarrassing when it comes to saying silly things. In fact, after reading 15 of the funniest mum quotes below, you might even decide that they take the lead on this one!
Related: top 10 funny kids’ quotes
All in a day’s work
If you’re a mum, you know life gets crazy and it hits you pretty fast! In all the craziness that we deal with as parents, we say things that seem reasonable in the moment, but can be completely ridiculous when said out loud. One thing is for sure, whether it’s reasonable or ridiculous, it’s definitely funny! Check out some of these candid thoughts that can easily be classified under the file name “funniest mum quotes.”
- “Get your finger out of your sister’s nose and go comb your hair.”
- “You need to drink your milk out of your cup and leave Maggie’s milk for her puppies.”
- “There is no ‘tractor’ button on the microwave.”
- “No, thank you. I can wipe my bottom myself.”
- “If you cut your brother’s hair again, you’ll go bald.”
- “Don’t play with that boy…he steals trains!”
- “Do not pee on your brother! He just had a bath.” (as if it wouldn’t matter if he hadn’t had a bath)
Don’t judge me — you don’t know the whole story
When you’re in public with your kids there are fifty things running through your mind all at once. ‘Did I bring everything? Do I have all of my kids? Wait, why do I have an extra child?’ At some point, your mind is going to want to explode if you don’t say your thoughts out loud. And usually this is the point when the funniest mum quotes come out. But hey, who is anyone to judge?
- “Do not poop in the ball pit…again.”
- “It’s not nice to touch your penis and then touch your food.”
- “The dog isn’t blind — the man is.”
- “If you don’t come with me right now, they are going to put a price sticker on you and sell you.”
- “If you throw that rock at me I’ll throw it back…and I have better aim.”
- “Why did you mix sand in your sister’s juice and tell her it was a smoothie?”
- “You don’t have enough money to buy a new mum, but I’ll give you some (money) if that’s what you really want to do.”
- “Did you drink that bottle of bubbles? Oh well, you’ll have the cleanest butt in town.”
Don’t worry
For all the new and expecting mums, don’t worry about a thing. You’ll get to the point of having your own funniest mum quotes eventually. But, instead of it being a mortifying experience, it’ll be something fun to look forward to. Initially, even we couldn’t imagine saying the words ‘penis’ and ‘poop’ to our kids. And we certainly didn’t think we’d ever have to warn them against playing with a train thief. But it happens because life with kids is crazy and wonderful. You wouldn’t have it any other way, would you?
Do you have any of your very own funniest mum quotes that you would like to share? Tell us about which of your funniest mum quotes has made you cringe the most!
If you haven’t had enough fun with funny things mum says, then check out this video for more laughter:
Also READ: Funny mum does hilarious reenactments of celebrity parents photos
