10 worst pieces of advice for newlyweds!

Are you newly married and being bombarded with advice from all quarters? Your mother, friends, aunts and even that old uncle who's always been a bit sleazy - they all seem to know what's best for your marriage! No need to take everything they say seriously even though it might sound like solid advice. We bring you 10 terrible pieces of advice for newlyweds that you can most certainly take with a grain of salt!

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10 of the worst pieces of advice

As a newlywed couple, be prepared for a seemingly endless stream of advice from well-meaning friends and family. But sifting through countless quotes, sayings and old wives tales is bound to leave your head spinning - who knew marriage could be so complicated?! We bring you 10 of the worst pieces of advice ever given to newlyweds...so you know what tips to definitely ignore!

1. Don’t go to bed mad

You often hear people saying to newlyweds ‘don’t fall asleep mad at each other’ or that you should ‘sort out your issues before you sleep’. The problem with this particular piece of advice is that it eats into valuable sleep time – which you both, undoubtedly require.

Staying up all night to argue with your spouse is only going to leave you tired and cranky the next day. Meaning that when you get home the next day you’re probably still going to be annoyed with one another. Try hitting the sack and giving yourselves some breathing space. You’ll be able to see the situation from a fresh perspective when you’re well rested!

2. Hash it out with your girlfriends

As with the many things that will change when you enter the world of matrimony, seemingly harmless ranting could lead to more serious issues. Friends and onlookers will be quick to judge (often out of concern for you) and you’re bound to hear things such as ‘leave him’ or ‘you shouldn’t stick around for such poor treatment’. This can leave you with a very negative outlook toward the issues being faced.

To make matters worse, imagine if your other half ever gets wind of the horrible things you’ve said in a moment of anger. Sort your problems out at home and in private. We’re not saying don’t get a little help from the best friend, just try to lay it out as it is. This will help you get a less biased view on the problem as well.

3. Don’t marry for love

Don’t marry the one you love, love the one you marry. Hearing this piece of advice will scare the majority of you out there. What do you mean don’t marry the one I love?!

I think what they really meant was don’t rush into marriage with someone who only gives you butterflies in your tummy whenever you look at him. You should settle down with someone who you will love you even when you're at your worst; when you're screaming, crying, kicking and acting like a child. Only someone who can love you at your worst deserves your best!

4. Say yes ma’am

This one is particularly for the husbands reading this. One might hear sayings such as ‘a happy wife makes a happy home’ and so on. A marriage, however, isn’t based solely on keeping the wife happy. It’s about balance and compromise. Both parties need to feel appreciated.

Feel free to give in to your wife (she is after all, your queen) but don’t forget that decisions need to be made together and as a team for this to work!

5. Don’t get married till you’re financially stable

While it's true that you and your partner shouldn't be stone-cold broke when looking to be wed, the lessons you learn from working with a person at building your lives together will help to strengthen your relationship.

There are going to be many unpleasant situations to come (along with the endless pleasant ones) that will require you to be able to work with a common goal ahead of you.

6. Have a big wedding and a fancy honeymoon

10 years down the track you aren’t going to remember what centerpiece you ordered 200 of, or who sat at which table. You will spend too much money on things that aren’t important enough, as opposed to having an intimate affair with the people that matter most.

Similarly, a fancy honeymoon is going to suck much of your finances dry, especially, if you’re a young couple trying to get your footing. Go someplace cheaper and save towards yearly vacations instead. You will get to see Greece or Paris. Don’t rush, you have the rest of your lives to see the world.

7. Make sure you two have a lot in common

Hasn’t anyone ever heard that ‘opposites attract’? If you and your spouse were carbon copies of one another wouldn’t that be a little boring, not to mention narcissistic? Having different interests and hobbies will make for more topics of conversation and date ideas.

8. The M&M game

Sounds harmless enough, no? The aim of the game is to put an M&M in a jar every time you and your spouse, well, ‘do the deed’ during the first year you are married. Over the second year, you’re meant to take an M&M out for every time you ‘get down to business’. It has been said that you will never take out as many M&Ms as you put in.

This, places an unnecessary strain on the both of you’ll and ironically enough, takes away from enjoying one another. You feel as if you’re in a competition and you aren’t really sure who exactly you’re competing with. Take time to revel in one another instead. You will find it much more rewarding!

9. The first year is the worst

As with most things in life, marriage doesn’t come with a manual or instruction guide. It will be an experience subject to you and your partner as a couple. It may be the best year, it may be the worst, and the important thing here is not to go into your marriage with such negative expectations.

Take each day as it comes and try to work on any issues the two of you are facing as a team. Remember to compromise when needed!

10. No secrets

You’re probably wondering why this is such terrible advice. It's one thing to be perfectly honest with each other at all time. But is telling your loved one what you did in college when you were young and terribly drunk really going to add value to your marriage?

Some secrets are best left untold. Use your judgement - if it's going to hurt more than heal, keep it to yourself.

Written by

Sonia Pasupathy

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