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“Do Looks Matter?” Woman Reveals Why She Lacks Self-Esteem

5 min read
“Do Looks Matter?” Woman Reveals Why She Lacks Self-Esteem

"This has caused me to become even more insecure and I'm thinking of breaking off this relationship because I know he is ashamed of me."

A woman posted anonymously on social media explaining why she lacks self-esteem. She then details thy reasons why she lost confidence in her looks; her boyfriend refuses to post pictures of their romance on social media. Her post garnered attention and triggered an online debate on the effects of looks in romantic relationships.

In this article, you’ll read:

  • Do You Think Looks Matter in Romance?
  • Woman Reveals Why She Lacks Self-Esteem
  • 7 Tips for Maintaining Emotional Security in a Relationship

Do You Think Looks Matter in Romance?

A lot of people do not believe that physical appearance does not much matter in a relationship. They believe the essential thing in a relationship is how your partner supports you and brings you joy.  

Some say that simply looking at physical attributes is a shallow mindset. In addition, an individual shall broaden their view on appearance by getting to know someone regardless of how they look. 

In contrast, some studies say that men rate physical attractiveness as more critical in a potential mate than women. On the other hand, women value qualities like ambition, industriousness, friendliness, and kindness more than physical appearance. 

In most cases, looks can be the initial reason an individual becomes attracted to their partner in the first place. Some people could hardly admit it, but looks could play a role in a relationship. 

However, it is essential to understand that it takes more than a great physical appearance to keep a relationship intact. 

Woman Reveals Why She Lacks Self-Esteem

An anonymous woman on social media shares her experience with her boyfriend and why she lacks self-esteem. 

The woman began her post with the question, “Do look matters matter in a relationship?” 

woman lacks self-esteem

Image Source: iStock

According to her, she has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for a few years now. Despite their long-term relationship, she said that her boyfriend has never posted a photo of them together. Because of that, the woman believes that the reason behind that is because she is not good-looking.

“I know I’m not good-looking,” she said. “Many people have told me that.”

On the other hand, she claims her boyfriend displays above-average looks than most men she encountered.

“I know he never posts photos of us because I’m not pretty enough for him to show me off,” said the woman. 

Aside from that, there is another reason why she becomes even more insecure about her looks. She said her boyfriend also follows several Instagram influencers with attractive features.

“This has caused me to become even more insecure,” she said. “I’m thinking of breaking off this relationship because I know he is ashamed of me.”

The woman has felt insecure for quite some time now. However, she chose not to tell her boyfriend about her insecurities yet. 

According to her, she knows and feels that her boyfriend genuinely loves her. Aside from that, the guy never said that she was not pretty. Despite this, her boyfriend’s contradicting actions make her feel insecure.

The Relationship Advice from Netizens

In the latter part of her social media post, the woman asked for advice from the netizens. She then asked if she needs to get plastic surgery for her looks.

The post gained several engagements. Several people made an effort to leave their advice in the comment section. 

A social media user says that the woman’s issue could be her perception. “It is just you don’t see something special in yourself!” she wrote in the comment.

She also advised her to confront her boyfriend about how she feels about her insecurities. In addition, she also points out the importance of taking care of own appearance at all times. Some encouraged her to dress nicely and put on some light makeup.

Additionally, another netizen added that she’s the only one who can change her insecurity. They also advised her to start working on herself, regardless of what her partner does. For her, working on oneself and feeling good about it is essential. 

woman lacks self-esteem

Image Source: iStock

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7 Tips for Maintaining Emotional Security in a Relationship

We need to understand the importance of creating emotional safety in a relationship. It holds the answer to fostering meaningful connections and healthy relationships with your partner. 

  • Value their boundaries and ask for consent. It can protect both yourself and your relationship with your partner.
  • Learn from observing your partner. Body language is essential for emotional safety.
  • Closely listen to their views and opinions. Your partner will become more comfortable sharing fears and issues with you. 
  • Remain transparent and gain their trust. It could eliminate the potential feelings that both of you are hiding something from each other. 
  • Do not just their actions quickly. It will help you understand and learn the motivation for your partner’s behaviour. If you feel unsure, we encourage you to speak up and ask your partner about your concerns.
  • Don’t rely on your partner for everything. It is essential to make your partner feel that you are dependable and you value the relationship.
  • Try couples or relationship counselling. A mental health professional’s perspective can help people in relationships build emotional safety by focusing on dealing with conflict rather than focusing on the conflict itself.

The Independent SG, Psych Central

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Written by

Kamille Uriella Batuyong

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