Imagine you’ve organised your little one’s birthday. All the kids from his class and of friends are here. There’s games, cake and some snacks too, and you have a complete schedule planned. But there’s one who just won’t go with the flow.
He’s been disrupting the games, distracting other children and is behaving like a sore loser after losing to other children. Sure, you have gifts for everyone but this is really putting the mood off.
The temptation to discipline someone else’s child can be huge at this moment. You have a lot riding on the day and you don’t want some unruly kid ruining it for everyone.
However, not all parents are okay when another parent disciplines your child.
They may be a relative or even a friend but some think that such incidents should be handled by parents. That was the opinion of a mum on TikTok, who has since gone viral for the same reason.
What Happened That Day
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TikTok user @invasian_ recently posted a video pointing out that she wasn’t comfortable with other parents scolding her child. While the user did receive some backlash for her statement, she put out another video explaining her point.
The TikToker says that while she was okay with another parent telling the child that they did something wrong, as long as it’s done with respect.
In her video, the mum says, “What you’re not gonna do is raise your voice at my child [and] make him or her feel uncomfortable. And you sure as h*ll are not gonna threaten my child.”
Furthermore, @Invasian_ continues saying that even though she doesn’t want other parents scolding her kid, that doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t get involved if a child is doing something wrong.
She says, “By all means, if he is doing something wrong or endangering himself or somebody else’s kid? Get in there and tell him. But respectfully, though.”
The user signs off saying, “Because I have respect for your children, you and also myself. We’re on the same team here, mommas. We should look out for each other’s kids 24×7.”
What Do The Netizens Say?
While the original video did receive backlash, the clarification saw appreciation from other TikTok mums. One user wrote, “A lot of people need to learn this because some people are just out to embarrass kids.”
Another elated user commented, “RESPECT! Preach it, girl!”
Another mum echoed the point and said, “Yassss I won’t raise my voice but I will RESPECTFULLY tell them what’s wrong or dangerous.”
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Should You Discipline Someone Else’s Child?
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No matter how close you are to the parents or even the child, disciplining them might just make you cringe. It may feel like overstepping your authority and in most cases that just might be it.
However, there are times when children too are out of line, misbehaving with others, damaging property or hurting family pets.
When another parent disciplines your child, it can get embarrassing for everyone involved.
But when done with respect, it will be about teaching the child a lesson rather than a punishment. Here’s what you can do to control the situation:
- Speak to the parents to control their child if they are at the same venue. It’s the most obvious and effective option here.
- Be respectful in your approach. You want the child to correct his mistake and go back to enjoying himself.
- Giving a punishment is not the answer in such situations.
- Ideally, refrain from putting your hands on another person’s child. However, if you think the kid’s safety is at risk, do not hesitate. You can always explain the situation later.
- Make sure you speak to the parents immediately after disciplining the child. Communication with the parents should be a priority to avoid any misunderstandings.
When Another Parent Disciplines Your Child: What Should You Do?
It may happen that you catch someone else disciplining your child behind your back. Before losing your calm or reacting rudely, especially at a public gathering, it would be best to first sort out the situation with the adult.
Here’s what you need to keep in mind:
- Talk to the parent first and understand what happened
- Speak to your child and understand what they did wrong
- If your child is at fault, make sure you ask them to apologise
- Speak to the adult about changing his/her tone if they are being rude
- Do not raise your voice to escalate the situation. Instead, diffuse it immediately.
- Remove your child from the situation immediately
- Do consider the intent of the relative or parent scolding your child. Was he in danger? Or putting someone else at risk? Do not lose your calm.
At times, disciplining another parent’s child may be a necessary option. But you should be prepared that there may be a time when you would be at the receiving end of it too.
As a parent, you should make it a point to speak to your child about behaviour etiquettes at public events.
At the same time, if they feel someone was rude to them at an event, they should feel free to talk to you. In either situation, make sure to solve the situation before it escalates further to avoid ruining a party or any other public event.
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