Take a trip back memory lane, did you favour your mother or father more? Perhaps you had a favourite, you were “Daddy’s girl” or “Mummy’s boy”. Do you still remember why you preferred one parent over the other? Now it’s happening to you–Baby likes Daddy more, now what?
It can be a very painful experience when you are the main caregiver of your child but he or she gets all excited when Daddy comes home and only wants to play with him. Or perhaps just talks about Daddy all day long when you’re the one feeding, cleaning, educating, hugging, loving and kissing your little angel—for goodness sake, you gave birth to him/her!
Know that you are not alone, there are many parents out there facing the same issue and they are devastated too. This experience not only hurts your relationship with your child but also puts a strain on the relationship with your spouse. Let’s work on the situation together and avoid being the “rejected” parent or the “preferred” parent…
Identify the main reason(s) baby likes Daddy more
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In order for you to identify the reasons why your child or baby may be more inclined to your spouse, you will need to answer some questions. Be honest to yourself when you go through the list.
- Are you always absent or stay at work late most of the time?
- Are you spending too much time on chores than you are with your child?
- Are you too strict with your child?
- Are you too serious when you’re around your child?
- Are you the main disciplinarian in your family?
- Is your child fearful of you?
- Do you show love and affection to your child frequently?
- Do you allow yourself to have fun with your child?
- Are you the designated “homework” parent?
- Are you trying too hard to win your child over that it’s smothering him or her?
It’s not your fault that baby likes Daddy more
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Please do not fault yourself for the situation. It’s difficult to be a perfect parent when there is no manual to follow. It is also likely that it is a phase that your child is going through. Blame will not help you nor the situation—your child may need you more at one phase of their development and your spouse when they have reached another phase. Your child’s preference will change over time.
According to an article in DailyMail, professional parenting coach Dr Jenny Leonard says: “It’s not uncommon for children to much prefer one parent…”
Equality and quality time
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But why does Baby like Daddy more? It could be that you’re paying more attention to chores and other duties and leave your hubby to take care of your child. In this case, your spouse gets to spend quality playtime with the child—while you only carry out the more mundane mummy functions like feeding, bathing, teaching and disciplining. In situations like these, perhaps it will be a good idea to switch roles with your spouse so that your child will see a different side of you and your spouse.
For older kids, perhaps you are the parent designated to help your child with homework and your spouse only deals with fun and playtime. Then your child will associate you with the dreaded word “school” and your spouse with fun and games. Once again, swap roles so that there is a balance.
Ask yourself this: are you generally uncomfortable lavishing affection on your kids? And your spouse is all about hugs and kisses. So then it may be time to bring out your sappy side that includes warm hugs and sloppy smooches. Remember not to smother.
It is also very important for you and your spouse to spend lots of quality time with your child. Engage in a hobby that your child enjoys as a family to bond. It is not just quantity when spending time with your child. It is definitely quality—what are you doing with your child to engage him or her?
Spoiling and bribing your kids
Be very careful not to spoil or bribe your child in an attempt to win his or her affections—even though it may be tempting to do so. This might have far-reaching negative effects later on when you’re trying to work your disciplinary magic on the kids. Go ahead and allow your child some treats and rewards. The key is moderation.
We hope this article helps you with the situation – When Baby likes Daddy more. If you have encountered the same situation and have worked through it, please do share your experience with us in the comment box below.
