Upsetting phrases in relationships can easily slip out, especially when trying to comfort a loved one. These phrases, though often said with good intentions, can unintentionally cause harm. Understanding what to avoid can help parents maintain a loving and supportive relationship.
1. “It Could Be Worse”
When your partner is having a tough time, starting with “It could be worse” may seem like an attempt to offer perspective. However, this phrase can minimise their feelings, making them feel as though their emotions are not valid. Instead of helping, it may leave them feeling even more upset. A better approach is to acknowledge their pain and simply be there for them.
2. “Here’s What You Should Do”
Offering advice with “Here’s what you should do” might come naturally, especially when you want to fix the problem. However, this can come across as dismissive, implying that your partner cannot handle the situation themselves. Often, they may not be looking for solutions but rather someone to listen and understand. In these moments, lending an ear can be more supportive than giving advice.
3. “It’s Not That Big of a Deal”
When you say “It’s not that big of a deal,” you might be trying to reassure your partner. Yet, this phrase can feel dismissive, making them feel as though their concerns are being belittled. What may seem small to you could be very significant to them. This type of comment can create emotional distance, making them feel alone in their struggles.
4. “At Least…”
Starting a sentence with “At least…” is another example of an upsetting phrase in relationships. While you might be trying to highlight a silver lining, this phrase often dismisses your partner’s current feelings. It can make them feel as though their emotions are not being taken seriously, which can deepen their sense of frustration.
5. “Just Calm Down”
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Telling someone to “Just calm down” rarely has the intended effect. This phrase can make your partner feel patronised, as if their emotions are irrational or overblown. Rather than calming them, it may actually escalate the situation. A more supportive approach is to acknowledge their feelings and offer comfort instead of telling them how to feel.
6. “My Day Sucked, Too”
When your partner is upset, responding with “My day sucked, too” shifts the focus away from them and back onto you. This can make them feel unheard and unimportant. During difficult times, it’s important to put your partner’s needs first by listening and showing empathy. This allows them to feel supported and valued.
Building Stronger Connections
Avoiding these upsetting phrases in relationships can help strengthen the emotional bond between you and your partner. By choosing your words carefully and focusing on empathy, you create a space where your partner feels safe and understood. Simple phrases like “I’m here for you” or “That must be really tough” can go a long way in providing comfort.
In the end, the goal is to foster a relationship where both partners feel heard, valued, and supported. By being mindful of the impact of your words, you can build a stronger, more loving connection with your partner.
