What is it about men that makes women want to settle down? We found out from Singaporean women on the traits and qualities that contributed to the factors leading up the the “I dos”.
“I need the constant reminders of why I married him, not one who has trouble even typing the three-word sentence on keypads!”
Sure, the aloofness might have attracted you the first time you laid eyes on him. The way he got you so in love, without the flowers and the “I love yous”. But ladies, if you’re going into a marriage with a guy like that, good luck in keeping your insecurities in check for the rest of your life!
“If you’re 28 and still have no clue on where you’re headed to in terms of career, you’re not the one for me!”
Do you want to be a guitarist? Sure! You’re not one now? No problem! You’re doing whatever you can to reach your goal? Perfect. It’s okay if you’re in a mundane transition job now. It’s okay if this is not the house we initially planned on getting. As long as you’re thinking about your future AND working towards it, we’re cool.
“I wouldn’t want to marry a man and still find the need to be constantly assured that I’m the only one.”
Commitment is also one of the major causes of divorces in Singapore. With Singaporean TV dramas having the similar “she cheated on me, I cheated on him.” plots, it might be why women are increasingly careful.
“If I love playing the violin even when I’m not good at it, you’re going to have to encourage me, not bring me down.”
It’s never an okay thing if you make people feel bad for the things they love or are passionate about. If you’re constantly encouraging me even when I know I’m not good at it, you’re good.
“If I’m going to marry him, I’m going to have a family with him. What are the chances of him being family-oriented if he’s still constantly hesitant in attending his own family gatherings?”
With 9-6 day jobs and time-crunched weekends, it is difficult enough to have a social life, much less setting aside time for the family. Rare, simple occasions such as dinners are to be looked forward to, not declined. If a man’s willing to brush off family events and prioritise less important events on his agenda like drinking sessions, he’s not the one!
“I wouldn’t want a man who works odd jobs or has a one-digit bank balance in the middle of the month!”
This is harshly true. Money has been a rising cause for divorces in Singapore over the recent years that most people find it really necessary for both parties to be financially stable before they even sign the marriage papers!
“You’re capable of smoking 1 pack of cigarettes in a day? Nope!”
Besides smoking, which is of course, one of the biggest deal breakers in relationships, health in general is very important. Let’s face it, if you’re in your mid-twenties and you’re eating fast food every other day and refusing to drink mineral water because “it’s tasteless”, then you need a wake-up call, buddy!
Similar sense of humour
“I wouldn’t want to be married for more than 20 years and still have him not understand why the video I just watched was the funniest thing ever.”
Many women agreed that having the same sense of humour is actually more important than having the same interests. I mean, it’s pretty obvious. If you hate romance movies and pink bedsheets, that’s okay. But if you’re always saying things like “I don’t get it,” “how is that funny?”, “Really? You’re still laughing at this?” or “That’s not funny.” whenever I think it’s funny, then I’m sorry, it’s a no.
“Don’t marry me and then bring up something that I did wrong 6 years ago every single time we’re having an argument.”
This one comes together with emotional stability. Let’s face it, if you’re going to keep looking at the glass as half empty, you’re going to start looking at everything else the same way. I wouldn’t want to constantly provide assurance just because you feel sad all the time. Suck it up, we have more important things to worry about.
“It goes without saying, you’re going to have to support me in whatever I do, as I do yours.”
We welcome the “are you sure you want to do this?” and the “what ifs” but never the “I don’t think you can do this”. Sure, sit me down and go through the lists of pros and cons with me and let’s come up with the worst case scenarios. But please, never ever dismiss my plans.
Ladies, are there any other traits that you might know of that are not listed here? Share with us!