Have you ever faced a question from your child that shook you to the core?
For Ms. Aisha Jiffry, a mother of two, the questions came suddenly and without warning, leaving her breathless: “Mummy, are you going to die? Do you have cancer? Is it contagious?” Her children, just ten and eight at the time, had overheard a private conversation she’d had with her doctors and family members, and their innocent, yet gut-wrenching inquiries left her grappling for words.
How do you answer those kinds of questions when you’re not even sure of the answers yourself?
In mid-2020, Ms. Aisha was gearing up for another attempt at IVF, hoping to expand her family after five previous miscarriages. But a routine mammogram revealed something she had never expected: Stage 2 triple-negative breast cancer in her right breast.
Shocked and filled with questions of her own, Ms. Aisha’s journey through cancer would lead her to an urgent mastectomy, a series of unexpected challenges, and ultimately, a transformation in her life’s purpose.
This story is for every mother who wonders how they would respond to life-altering news and for every woman navigating the questions and choices that follow a cancer diagnosis.
The Diagnosis That Changed Everything: “I Need a Mastectomy”
Source: Singapore Motherhood
Imagine heading into what you think will be a routine check-up, only to learn that your entire life is about to shift. For Ms. Aisha, the routine mammogram turned into hours of waiting and retesting, with doctors urgently calling her back for an evaluation. She was alone, frightened, and had to face the harsh reality that she would need a mastectomy within weeks. After her diagnosis, her focus shifted from the future she was planning to fight for the life she had.
The decision to proceed with a mastectomy, although necessary, came with a flood of emotions. How would she explain this to her young children? Would they understand? And, most troubling, would she survive to see them grow up? In those early days, Ms. Aisha’s mind was a whirlwind of fears and questions – the same ones her children echoed back to her.
A Birthday She’ll Never Forget
As Ms. Aisha prepared for her mastectomy, she was caught in a mix of fear and disbelief. Turning 41 just days before surgery, she found little to celebrate, despite her children’s endearing attempt to lift her spirits with a makeshift birthday cake crafted from fishballs and carrots. Though she tried to reassure her children, telling them, “Don’t worry, mummy will be alive,” her own worries loomed larger than life.
Source: Singapore Motherhood
After her mastectomy, Ms. Aisha’s recovery came with challenges she hadn’t anticipated. Her reconstruction surgery caused her breast to turn a faint blue from a dye used during the procedure, sparking an emotional low point that lingered for months. With her sense of identity shaken, Ms. Aisha sought solace in support groups and counselling. Slowly, she began to rebuild her confidence – starting with her body and ultimately extending into her entire outlook on life.
Seeking Support
Source: Singapore Motherhood
Cancer may be a personal battle, but it’s not one you have to face alone. Ms. Aisha’s journey led her to the Breast Cancer Foundation (BCF), where she found comfort and camaraderie among other women who understood her experience. Through BCF’s virtual support groups, yoga classes, and counselling sessions, she began to regain her sense of self, shedding the stigma and fear that had initially accompanied her diagnosis.
But it wasn’t just about what she could receive. Ms. Aisha found purpose in giving back as a BCF befriender, sharing her story with others and building a support network for Malay-Muslim women facing breast cancer. She formed a close-knit group of women who advocate for early breast cancer screening and educate others about the disease. This network, and her role within it, became a lifeline, giving her strength in ways she never imagined.
Mastectomy, Motherhood, and Cultural Challenges
For Ms. Aisha, openly discussing her mastectomy and cancer journey within her community wasn’t easy. Facing remarks like “you’re brave to talk about your breasts” and questions about her husband’s approval, she quickly realized the cultural stigma surrounding breast cancer, particularly among Malay women. Yet, she remained undeterred, determined to break down barriers and normalize discussions about breast health and screening.
In her view, a mastectomy isn’t just a medical procedure; it’s a pivotal step that can save lives. By openly addressing her experience, she hopes to encourage more women to prioritize their health and seek early detection. She knows that silence around these topics can lead to fear and missed opportunities for early intervention. By sharing her story, she is paving the way for others, one woman at a time.
Turning Adversity into Advocacy
Source: Singapore Motherhood
When you’re faced with a life-altering diagnosis, it’s easy to let fear and despair consume you. But Ms. Aisha chose a different path. Despite the challenges, she found that her mastectomy was, in a way, a catalyst for new beginnings. Her experience pushed her to leave her former job and dedicate herself to a career in education. During her recovery, she pursued and completed a master’s degree in special and inclusive education, setting her sights on a doctorate as her next milestone.
Today, she’s an adjunct lecturer, an advocate for breast cancer awareness, and a voice for change within her community. Her journey is a testament to the idea that, even in the darkest of times, there is always hope and purpose to be found.
Embracing Life with Gratitude and Purpose
As Ms. Aisha reflects on her journey, she feels a deep sense of gratitude – not just for her health but for the closeness her experience has brought to her family. Her husband, Mohamed, has been her unwavering pillar of support, even starting a monthly “date night” tradition to keep their bond strong. Her children have learned resilience, compassion, and the power of unity, and Ms. Aisha herself has learned to prioritize her own well-being without guilt.
If you’re facing a health scare or grappling with the challenges of illness, remember that you are not alone.
Your story, like Ms. Aisha’s, can be a source of strength, not only for you but for those around you. You have the power to transform your experience into a legacy of courage and love.
Embrace the support that’s available to you, reach out when you need it, and know that by sharing your journey, you’re helping to make the world a little brighter for others.
Life After Mastectomy
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Source: Singapore Motherhood
In the end, Ms. Aisha’s story is one of resilience and a reminder of the importance of early detection. If you’re reading this and have been putting off a screening, consider this your sign to take action.
For every mother, sister, and friend who may be affected, every story shared makes a difference. Don’t wait for a scare to prioritize your health; let Ms. Aisha’s journey inspire you to take that first step today.
You never know – it might just be the decision that changes everything.
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