Someone once said, ‘Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener’. Sometimes for the sake of sanity, wives better close both eyes. Here are some eye-opening syndromes affecting the male species that might drive us up the wall and how we can deal with them.
#1 Selective listening syndrome
After a hard day’s work, he tunes you out. The TV and the wall get even more attention than you. Whatever you say henceforth gets ignored and if you’re lucky, a sluggish reply “hmmm”. We know men need to vegetate so practically they are as useful as a piece of…veggie.
Prescription: Give him his vegetation time. Do your talking or instructing after. If all else fails, increase the tone of voice or dangle sex as a reward.
#2 Bad etiquette syndrome
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Oh, I’m sure there are countless but these are my pet peeves. Sneezing like a blue whale, open-mouth chewing, snoring incessantly, bad breath, and the list goes on. These are some things single women can’t tolerate, what more if you have to live with one.
Prescription: If it’s a medical condition, get it treated. If it’s a bad habit, constant yet gentle reminders might do its work.
#3 Hiding in the toilet syndrome
Some men just like to hibernate and habitate on the great white throne. They seem to find their inspiration and zen there. A friend’s husband admitted that’s where he catches up with the soccer news.
Hey, no problem with that but must you hog the bathroom for an hour?!
Prescription: Un’zen’ the toilet. Better still, get your kids to bang the door down.
#4 Getting lost syndrome
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What drives me mad is when he loses his way. Especially when it’s the nth time going to that place. Or when he insists he knows better than the GPS. Then when I lecture him, my husband always retorts, “Say so much, why don’t you drive?”
Prescription: Never quarrel when he’s driving. Wait till you get home. If you’re better at the wheels, take control then.
#5 Frequent work travel syndrome
‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’. But perhaps not this kind of absence. Although he shouldn’t be blamed for fulfilling his work responsibilities, frequent absence makes the heart grow cold and bitter.
Prescription: You deserve your own getaway with your girlfriends. Leave him to take care of the kids. Alone. But seriously husbands, make more effort to keep your marriage strong if you are frequently travelling.
#6 Selective memory retention syndrome
After so many years, he still has no idea where we keep everything even his things! He buys the wrong things even with a shopping list. Telling him a hundred times won’t help either.
Prescription: Tell him a thousand times instead.
#7 The Chucker syndrome
Some men have the mentality ‘out of sight, out of mind’. So instead of wasting time organising things like you do, he prefers to chuck them out of sight!
And when he can’t find his stuff, the dreaded call for help comes about, “Dear have you seen my….?”
Prescription: 2 options – Answer (1) “Nope” and continue whatever you’re doing or (2) “Let me help you find it”. Option (2) tops up his emotional bank. Only do this when you’re in a good mood. Else opt for option (1).
#8 I’ll-do-it-later syndrome
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Synonymous with the maid mentality, he always expects someone to pick up after him. Leaving his nose hair all over the sink, not replenishing the toilet paper when it’s the last roll, sometimes we wonder why can’t he just clean up his own mess NOW?
Prescription: Is there a WDA approved maid training certification for husbands?
#9 Long-winded syndrome
Don’t you just love it when he just goes on and on without coming to a point? Your eyes are rolling and you feel like smacking his head to hasten the thinking process. This syndrome is rather rare in the male species and probably affects 1 in 10 households.
Prescription: Interrupt and growl “Get to point, honey!”
#10 Overly-friendly syndrome
What if your husband is a social butterfly? Imagine both of you at a gathering, you’re tired and want to go home.
You try to signal him but he is still busy chatting away. When you catch his attention, he is still completely clueless.
Prescription: Forget about being polite. Just go up and pull him away.
#11 Think-too-much syndrome
It’s good to think thoroughly but when he becomes indecisive that becomes a problem. I remembered a friend mentioned how her husband spent half an hour choosing a certain vegetable when she has already completed her long shopping list.
Prescription: Send him for a work attachment in Nike.
