“A daughter is a bundle of firsts that excite and delight, giggles that come from deep inside and are always contagious, everything wonderful and precious and your love for her knows no bounds.” — Barbara Cage
I feel blessed to be Mummy to my gorgeous little girl. If you, too, have a daughter, you’d know what an absolute joy they are.
I love how affectionate my daughter is, how she wears her little heart on her sleeve and how she can have a conversation with just herself.
She cries easily, laughs easily and loves so, so easily.
However, sometimes I also feel that having a daughter is a huge responsibility.
She is not going to be little for long. She’s going to grow up and probably (but hopefully not) disagree with everything we say.
When it comes to daughters, us mums have an advantage – we know what it’s like to be a young girl. We’ve been in their shoes and we know how to prepare them to face the world.
If you don’t know how to go about this, you can start by reading this list which is essential for all mums with daughters. Keep reading to know the most important things girls need from their mums.
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1. She needs to know she is beautiful
Your daughter needs to know she is beautiful without having to look into a mirror or get an opinion from another person.
Praise her amazing qualities. Positive affirmations do wonders to build self-esteem!
2. She needs you to be her confidante
Your daughter needs to know that you are always there to hear her out and be on her side.
Tell her you’ve got her back no matter what the world throws at her because you knew her first and you know her best!
3. She needs to know you’ve been in her shoes
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Bringing up girls will be much easier if they know that you’ve “been there” too. Tell your daughter stories from your past, without sugarcoating it so much.
It is OK to tell her that you made mistakes, and it is OK for her to make her own mistakes.
But let her know that it is truly admirable if she can learn from her own mistakes and the mistakes of others.
4. She needs to know her self-worth
Tell her that there’s so much more to beauty than what meets the eye. Teach her to see the beauty in others as well as herself.
Teach her that she needs to know and love who she is before modelling her life after another’s.
5. She needs to know about her body
You are the best person to talk to your daughter about her changing body. Give her plenty of information about how it works, how to take care of it and how to protect it.
6. She needs you to talk to her about sex
Talk to your daughter about sex before anyone else does. You can start early with age-appropriate, open talks about “good touch” and “bad touch.”
As she grows, keep the open conversations going and she won’t cringe or roll her eyes when you try and talk to her about sex.
Also, let her know that you can answer any question she has on the subject.
7. She needs you to be her mum, not her friend
Talking about everything and having open conversations with your daughter doesn’t mean you must agree with everything she says or does.
Remember, you don’t have to always be the ‘good guy’ to guide her in the right direction.
8. She needs you to spend quality time with her
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Take time away from your busy schedule to get to know your daughter.
Remember that she won’t stay the same forever. She may like princesses one day, butterflies the next… then boys before you know it!
So make the effort to go through her various phases and interests with her.
You can also use this quality time to let her get to know you better. Show her that Mummy has a fun side and secretly loves sparkly, glittery things as well.
9. She needs you to believe in her dreams
Daughters need their mums to believe in them and their dreams. Your encouragement will mean the world to her.
Help her cope with the disappointment of dreams not realised. She needs to know that not every dream is going to come true and we need to be resilient to get over disappointments and move on.
10. She needs you to let her be a child
Let her enjoy her childhood doing things kids do… playing make-believe, getting messy with paints, running around in the playground and even being silly!
11. She needs to know she is loved
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Unconditional love comes naturally to us mums, and there’s nobody better to show our daughters what love is.
Tell her you love her as many times as you can. Show her that, with the right person, physical affection is not a bad thing.
It is also OK for her to see you and your husband sharing a quick kiss or a cuddle. Give her enough affection so she won’t look for it outside your home.
12. She needs to know how to be a well-rounded woman
Through your example, show her all the wonderful qualities women possess and how to use them in the right instances.
Show her the importance of being firm when it comes to standing up for herself and what she believes in, and also be gentle at the same time.
13. She needs you to teach her good manners
The best way to teach your daughter good manners is through example.
Show her the importance of being polite when trying to get what she wants, to never be too proud to say she’s sorry, and to be gracious and thankful when she receives something.
14. She needs you to show her how to appreciate the little joys in life
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Never be too busy to dance like nobody is watching, laugh out loud, say “I love you” or admire the beautiful flowers outside your window.
Show your daughter that the little joys in life can really make us happier people.
15. She needs you to teach her about respect
She needs to know how to first respect herself and then be respectful of others.
Treat her with respect and she will definitely reciprocate the gesture.
16. She needs to know you have feelings too
You don’t have to always hide your feelings when you are hurt, angry or sad.
Show your daughter that it is OK to cry, as it helps you deal with certain situations life may hurl at you. It also makes her aware that others have feelings too, and that we should be sensitive to them.
17. She needs you to teach her to appreciate what she has
Show her that she is blessed with so many beautiful things that many other people cannot afford.
Teach her to value and not waste what she has, and to be generous at the same time.
18. She needs to know how to make the right choices
The only way you can do this is by being at her side, gently guiding her in what she does.
As she matures, let her make her own decisions and stand by her, trying your hardest not to tell her what to do.
Tell her that there are always consequences to the choices we make and that we should think things through wisely.
19. She needs to know the importance of being healthy and fit
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Show your daughter how you take care of yourself by eating right and exercising.
Explain to her that you need to be healthy to take care of her (and her siblings, if she has any) and that she needs to eat nutritious food to have a healthy mind and body.
Follow suit with showing her how to choose food wisely and to stop eating when she is full.
20. She needs to know the importance of faith
Whatever religion or belief you follow, teach your daughter that faith can move mountains.
Be it faith in others, faith in a divine being or in herself, her faith can guide her in the right direction throughout her life!
