Are you 'the good wife'?

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What makes a good wife? A woman assessing her success as a spouse and her husband evaluating how great she is, is nowhere near the same thing. Here is his perspective on the matter.

When you consider your role as a wife, how would you grade yourself? Are you a good wife?

Now, what grade would your husband give you? If your marriage is healthy and happy, your answers will most likely be in sync. At least, that’s where it should be.

But the reasons why you and your husband think you’re ‘Wonder Wife’ are likely different–different, that is, unless you know what men think a great wife is.

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As far as being a good wife goes, how does he think you fair?

What men want in a good wife

When it comes to getting down to the nitty-gritty on what men want and need in a wife, the following list of things is considered the essentials for a healthy marriage and what men consider a ‘good wife’ to be:

  • A good wife is one that respects her husband. She respects her husband’s need to be the ‘fixer’ in the relationship. She knows her husband is not going to be a passive listener. It’s not in his genetic make-up to ‘just’ listen without trying to make the situation a resolved situation.
  • In a husband’s eyes, the best wife is one that contentedly lives within their means. To do so affirms to them that they are fulfilling their role as head of the house. Don’t laugh–no matter how progressive you are. There is an inherent need in a man to feel this way.
  • A good wife will parent with their husband–not against him. She will also never ever speak negatively about her husband to her children, family, friends or co-workers. The problems in a marriage (every marriage has a few) need to stay between the married couple (unless professional help is sought out). FIY: Your co-worker is not a marriage counselor.
  • A good wife will not try to change her husband; molding him into her ideal of perfection.
  • A good wife makes time for her husband every day. Some days that time may be shorter than others, but make sure there is always time for just the two of you.
  • A good wife listens to her husband. She won’t always agree with him, but she’ll listen in just the same way she wants her husband to listen to her.
  • A good wife lets her husband know she is sexually attracted to him. No, men aren’t quite as insecure as we women are about ageing and looks, but they do think about it just the same. And although it should go without saying, this includes being faithful in the marriage.
  • A good wife is one whose takes care of her family. Again…no matter how modern and progressive you think your family is (or should be), the position of wife and mother comes with certain responsibilities.
  • A good wife doesn’t try to make her husband choose between her and his family. This family may be his mom, children from a previous marriage or spending every other Friday night playing poker with his brother-but he shouldn’t be made to choose.
  • A good wife tells her husband that she loves and appreciates him every single day.
An important point to remember is that the trick is in working towards being a good wife as opposed to the perfect wife. First of all, there is no such thing and even he knows that. Here is where understanding each other’s wants, needs and expectations take centre stage. Ultimately,  a good wife begets a good husband and vice versa.