Once we get over the initial mortification, visits to your gynecologist can be pretty joyful – you get to share your happiness of seeing your baby grow yet a couple more cm with another person. Your gynecologist is also there to talk you through your concerns and work out solutions together with you.
But sometimes, they can come up with the most mind-boggling lines that make us go “But wait….what did she just say?”
1. You have a beautiful cervix
What does that even mean? Is she just trying to be supportive….or is she just weird?
2. You should stop breastfeeding. Your breasts belong to your husband.
Did she just say that??? Not sure whether to laugh or get huffy about the misogynistic undertones.
3. It will be like when you need to sh**. Don’t sweat it.
4. Do you want to hold it in? (so that my sons would be born on the same day, a year apart)
At 41 weeks, looking and feeling like a humongous whale, that was the last thing I wanted to hear.
5. You have to be prepared that she will have an alien head
As a first time mother, I really wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. Was she trying to tell me there was something wrong with my baby? Panic bells went off in my head.
Of course, she meant the shape of the newborn’s head that gets constricted by the birth canal during delivery!
6. Oh good, you’re not a squirter
This was as he was examining me down there just as I went into labour. Wasn’t sure it that was a compliment or vaguely pornographic, but I took it as a compliment.
7. How many partners have you been with since the last visit?
I suppose it is just part of his professional standard line of questioning to establish things. But, really! Especially since he has seen my husband umpteen times.
8. Here’s a miror. Let me show you how your cervix looks.
I really didn’t need to be edified about my cervix in all its distended glory in minute graphic details.
So after a whole day of peering down umpteen women’s nether regions, we recognize it can mess up the mind just a little bit. If you do hear one of these did-she-just-say-that lines, just take it in your stride and be nice to the doctor.
Share with us how your gynae experience was like in the comments box below!